Rihanna On Chris Brown “We’re Not Friends, But It’s Not Like We’re Enemies”

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Rihanna Vanity Fair October 2015

By Shari Weiss |

Rihanna Vanity Fair October 2015

(Vanity Fair)

Rihanna opens up about Chris Brown, casual sex, and being single in the November issue of Vanity Fair.

Though she’s been linked to various guys over the years, Rihanna says Brown was her last official boyfriend, back when they reunited in 2012. “Some guys… I don’t even have their number. You would not even believe it,” Rihanna says of rumors about her love life. “I’m serious, hand to God.” She’s also serious about not being interested in casual sex. “If I wanted to I would completely do that. I am going to do what makes me feel happy, what I feel like doing,” she explains. “But that would be empty for me; that to me is a hollow move. I would wake up the next day feeling like sh*t.”

Rihanna continues, “When you love somebody, that’s different. Even if you don’t love them per se, when you care enough about somebody and you know that they care about you, then you know they don’t disrespect you. And it’s about my own respect for myself. A hundred percent.”

“Sometimes it’s the first time I’m meeting this person — and then all of a sudden I’m ‘with them.’ It freaks me out,” the singer goes on to admit. “This industry creates stories and environments that can make you uncomfortable even being friends with someone. If you see me sitting next to someone, or standing next to someone, what, I’m not allowed to do that? I’m like, are you serious? Do you think it’s going to stop me from having a friend?”

Rihanna further confesses “I’m the worst. I see a rumor and I’m not calling [them] back. I’ve had to be so conscious about people — what they say and why people want to be with me, why people want to sleep with me… It makes me very guarded and protective. I learned the hard way.”

These lessons were partially learned through her relationship with Matt Kemp. She recalls, “We were just three months in and I liked his vibe, he was a good guy, and then paparazzi got us on vacation in Mexico. He handled it well; I didn’t. I got so uncomfortable because now what? He’s not even able to be seen with [another] girl, because I’m dragged back into headlines that say he’s cheating on me, and I don’t even [really] know this guy.”

Rihanna explains her now years-long single status as a result of being unwilling to settle. “Now men are afraid to be men. They think being a real man is actually being a p*ssy, that if you take a chair out for a lady, or you’re nice or even affectionate to your girl in front of your boys, you’re less of a man. It’s so sick,” she argues. “They won’t be a gentleman because that makes them appear soft. That’s what we’re dealing with now, a hundred percent, and girls are settling for that, but I won’t. I will wait forever if I have to… but that’s okay. You have to be screwed over enough times to know, but now I’m hoping for more than these guys can actually give.”

The star’s candor continues with her further saying, “That’s why I haven’t been having sex or even really seeing anybody because I don’t want to wake up the next day feeling guilty. I mean I get horny, I’m human, I’m a woman, I want to have sex. But what am I going to do — just find the first random cute dude that I think is going to be a great ride for the night and then tomorrow I wake up feeling empty and hollow? He has a great story and I’m like… what am I doing? I can’t do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me.”

Rihanna cops to getting “lonely,” but cites her career as a “distraction.” She also notes, “I get fearful of relationships because I feel guilty about wanting someone to be completely faithful and loyal, when I can’t even give them 10 percent of the attention that they need. It’s just the reality of my time, my life, my schedule.”

As for her infamous relationship with Brown, Rihanna is asked about being the “poster child for victims of domestic abuse.” She responds, “Well, I just never understood that, like how the victim gets punished over and over. It’s in the past, and I don’t want to say ‘Get over it,’ because it’s a very serious thing that is still relevant; it’s still real.”

“A lot of women, a lot of young girls, are still going through it. A lot of young boys, too. It’s not a subject to sweep under the rug, so I can’t just dismiss it like it wasn’t anything, or I don’t take it seriously,” continues the performer. “But, for me, and anyone who’s been a victim of domestic abuse, nobody wants to even remember it. Nobody even wants to admit it. So to talk about it and say it once, much less 200 times, is like… I have to be punished for it? It didn’t sit well with me.”

She acknowledges, however, that she fits some of the stereotypes of domestic abuse survivors, particularly by getting back together with Brown. “I was that girl, that girl who felt that as much pain as this relationship is, maybe some people are built stronger than others. Maybe I’m one of those people built to handle sh*t like this. Maybe I’m the person who’s almost the guardian angel to this person, to be there when they’re not strong enough, when they’re not understanding the world, when they just need someone to encourage them in a positive way and say the right thing,” Rihanna tells the magazine.

She “100 percent” thought she could “change” Brown, and says she was “very protective of him,” convinced that “people didn’t understand him.” In time, though, she says, “You realize after a while that in that situation you’re the enemy. You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I’m willing to put up with something, they think less of you — because they know you don’t deserve what they’re going to give.”

“And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that’s when I finally had to say, ‘Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.’ Sometimes you just have to walk away,” Rihanna confesses. Where do things stand now? “I don’t hate him. I will care about him until the day I die,” she admits. “We’re not friends, but it’s not like we’re enemies. We don’t have much of a relationship now.”

Going back to the current state of her love life, Rihanna insists, “I’m fine being with myself. I don’t want to really let anybody in. I’ve got too much on my plate, and I’m not even worried about it.” She believes “a very extraordinary gentleman, with a lot of patience, will come along when I least expect it,” but she just doesn’t “want it right now.”

“I can’t really be everything for someone. This is my reality right now,” she adds. The full issue will hit newsstands on October 13.


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