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Twit Happens

  • Blake Shelton

    Blake Shelton

    Well.. I've officially drank too much to drive today. Which means I'm ready to host a live television show tonight.

  • Porsha Williams

    Porsha Williams

    Don't you just hate being sick on your day off😫

  • Lena Dunham

    Lena Dunham

    Deleted pic of my spider bite because too many people were commenting #bedbugs & even if they're right I can't be hashtag diagnosed

  • Andy Richter

    Andy Richter

    Everybody looking down their noses at Miley Cyrus' involvement in the R&RHOF are delusional pompous twats. Have a nice Sunday.

  • Albert Brooks

    Albert Brooks

    I'm gonna wait for Paul Blart 3.

  • Kat Dennings

    Kat Dennings

    Tomorrow is Earth Day, but it's also the anniversary of when I got kicked out of Girl Scouts 🎉🌳

  • Keri Hilson

    Keri Hilson

    Often, the hardest thing to do and the right thing to do are the same.

  • Lena Dunham

    Lena Dunham

    I'm sorry but anyone who posts a picture of tuna salad is a monster

  • #EvanRachelWould


    I fucking love hummingbirds.

  • Emmy Rossum

    Emmy Rossum

    Auto correct changes "bday" to "body"...so I accidentally just texted someone "he invited me to his body".... Awkward.

  • christine teigen

    christine teigen

    Jennifer Lopez and Anna Kendrick together only happen in my dreams #LipSyncBattle

  • christina applegate

    christina applegate

    It's happened. I'm a middle aged woman. My neck skin is officially crepey. Wow. Yet I dress like a 14 yr old boy. Go figure.

  • Kristen Bell

    Kristen Bell

    If I was a DJ, my name would be BreastPump or MelkMasheen.

  • Elizabeth Banks

    Elizabeth Banks

    Cooties is just HPV, right?

  • Kat Dennings

    Kat Dennings

    Go home, earthquake, you're drunk

  • Kim Kardashian West

    Kim Kardashian West

    Met dress fitting last night was crazy!!!! I am sooooo excited for this year!!!!

  • Miles Teller

    Miles Teller

    If you were born in the late Fall or Winter of 1991 there's a 99% chance you were conceived to Michael Boltons "When A Man Loves A Woman"

  • Ricky Martin

    Ricky Martin

    To Make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, BE Coffee, COFFEE.

  • Hailey Baldwin

    Hailey Baldwin

    I can't stop eating gold fish

  • Zendaya


    I hate flat irons,curling irons,all of em, they make us look cute sometimes but then destroy our hair..what kind of trickery, they're evil😡😤

  • Conan O'Brien

    Conan O'Brien

    The President of Armenia met with the Kardashians. He asked them to change their name to “O’Malley.”

  • Zach Braff

    Zach Braff

    "I wonder what my friends' dinner looks like tonight." - no one

  • Drew Carey

    Drew Carey

    Hey @ritawilson. God bless you. Stay strong. Here’s all the love in the world. Have some :)

  • Keri Hilson

    Keri Hilson

    Serious question: How come people can't spell anymore?

  • Andy Cohen

    Andy Cohen

    there is no way that Quaid video is real

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