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Twit Happens

  • Sky Ferreira

    Sky Ferreira

    Why do I feel like I'm going through puberty for the 12th time?

  • Rob Lowe

    Rob Lowe

    Can't remember a time when I was less interested in the NBA. Where have you gone @kobebryant Our nation turns it's lonely eyes to you.

  • John Mayer

    John Mayer

    Feeling like whatever kind of day today is it's going to have the word "very" in it...

  • josh groban

    josh groban

    When Lorde sings about living in cities that you don't see on the screen is she talking about in New Zealand because HELLO LORD OF THE RINGS

  • Adam Levine

    Adam Levine

    I'm gonna start carrying a mic around just so I can drop it when I do something awesome.

  • Lena Dunham

    Lena Dunham

    Nothin' like a hard day's work to put sweat pleats in ya booty shorts

  • Blake Shelton

    Blake Shelton

    Ok. On behalf of the poor bastard that is about to go crazy at 23 Govenors club in Franklin Tn... That's NOT my house people!! I swear!!

  • Jennette McCurdy

    Jennette McCurdy

    Is saying 'I'm asking for a friend' out of style yet? (I'm asking for a friend.)

  • Josh Lawson

    Josh Lawson

    I'm an atheistzilla. Which means I don't believe there's a Godzilla.

  • alexa chung

    alexa chung

    Today I had no other choice but to rescue some jewellery from the bottom of a toilet bowl. Wednesday, you're up...

  • John Mayer

    John Mayer

    You're never too old for the "unprepared for a major high school exam" dream, I guess.

  • Ellen DeGeneres

    Ellen DeGeneres

    Scientists found a planet made entirely out of diamonds. I think I figured out where the Kardashians are from.

  • Zach Braff

    Zach Braff

    The faker the boobs, the more likely it is she likes zebra print.

  • Rosie



  • Ariana Grande

    Ariana Grande

    met my childhood crush Jim Carrey. could even speak. he was kind, warm and human. I'm so happy.

  • Ellen DeGeneres

    Ellen DeGeneres

    Wish I could be there cheering the runners. If you're there & you're reading this, will you yell, "Ellen says woo!"? Thanks. #BostonMarathon

  • Missy Elliott

    Missy Elliott

    Parents pay attention 2 your kids & what they watch Dont let TV babysit them they need to be nurtured so they can grow up & become something

  • Kristen Bell

    Kristen Bell

    Croutons over potato chips any day.

  • Lucy Hale

    Lucy Hale

    Woman at airport -"Selena, can I take a picture of you?" I think I crushed her & her daughters dreams after I revealed the truth ...

  • Emmy Rossum

    Emmy Rossum

    People are crazy. That is all.

  • oliviamunn


    Happy Easter to everyone, especially all of our military men & women serving abroad away from family today. Thank you for your service! :)

  • Katy Perry

    Katy Perry

    I love seeing all these drunk babies waddle around in pastels #Easter

  • Rebel Wilson

    Rebel Wilson

    Ah there's nothing like hand washing then blow drying your underwear because the airline lost your luggage and you are STRANDED!!!

  • Kelly Osbourne

    Kelly Osbourne

    Sometime all we need is a good hug! 💜

  • dax shepard

    dax shepard

    Apple, if you're listening, I'm NEVER writing "shot." I'm ALWAYS writing "shit." You're free to go ahead and retire "shot"

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