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Twit Happens

  • zooey deschanel

    zooey deschanel

    My infant daughter is going to run for president. She remains silent all of the key issues but she’s much cuter than Donald Trump.

  • Ellen DeGeneres

    Ellen DeGeneres

    Happy Birthdeyoncé!

  • Paula Abdul

    Paula Abdul

    #Offline is the new luxury! Gonna try to #unplug for a little this weekend..enjoy some peace & quiet! Ever take a break from #socialmedia?

  • Emmy Rossum

    Emmy Rossum

    Oh, the dulcet tones of a stranger's toddler wailing beside you in the rental car shuttle bus. And the #LaborDayWeekend had begun!

  • Emmy Rossum

    Emmy Rossum

    Hot air ballooning tomorrow. Already feeling queasy. Hoping I don't vomit or fall out.

  • Sarah Hyland

    Sarah Hyland

    I wish my seat on this airplane could be soundproof so for 2 and a half hours I could just belt Alanis and Tori Kelly.

  • Tom Arnold

    Tom Arnold

    Remember that one crazy mom in your old neighborhood who wore pajamas all day long even outside? Well apparently I am married to her now.

  • octavia spencer

    octavia spencer

    OH Man, just saw on the news that in FL someone's pet king cobra escaped and is loose in the neighborhood. #PlacesIWontEverVisit

  • olivia wilde

    olivia wilde

    It's not a shock to me that pointing out hysteria provokes hysterical responses.

  • Tyra Banks

    Tyra Banks

    U know when Ur All in 💛 w/ something & peeps aren't n the know and then BAM, it goes mainstream & U feel like it's not yours anymore #matcha

  • Brad Paisley

    Brad Paisley

    I think ya'll are really gonna like the new video. If not, then someone should make an app where folks can bash it & text insults & stuff.

  • Arsenio Hall

    Arsenio Hall

    The upside of this Hillary Clinton email scandal? I learned that Gefilte Fish, doesn't come from a Gefilte fish🐟! It's carp! I l luv carp.

  • Blake Shelton

    Blake Shelton

    Well its official.... I'm about to tour!!!!! The liquor store.. Bitch.

  • Seth MacFarlane

    Seth MacFarlane

    I attempted to relax by taking a hot bath, but the comments section in my head got too vicious.

  • Joel Madden

    Joel Madden

    you can write a song sitting in your room...and one day it can be on the radio

  • jimmy fallon

    jimmy fallon

    My college roommate finished baking a cake. I said “That looks good.” He licked the entire top of it & said, “It’s mine.” #MyRoommateIsWeird

  • Conan O'Brien

    Conan O'Brien

    The word “awesomesauce” is now in the dictionary. Call me old fashioned but I’m going to stick with “sperm.”

  • Lucy Hale

    Lucy Hale

    It will never not be weird for people to walk their cats.

  • octavia spencer

    octavia spencer

    two weeks now putting #CoconutOil in my coffee instead of cream & it's making a huge difference w/ my skin and wrinkles. #HalfTeaspoon

  • Missy Elliott

    Missy Elliott

    @JanetJackson Congrats sis not many can last over 30 yrs in this but when u have it u just do QUEEN LEGENDARY #burnitup🔥

  • Jason Biggs

    Jason Biggs

    Two weeks ago a man bravely helped foil a Paris train attack. Today he is "Dancing With The Stars" newest contestant. America, baby. AMERICA

  • John Stamos

    John Stamos

    Pregunta: Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?

  • William Shatner

    William Shatner

    I see the @DancingABC reveal has happened. Now who to root for... #decisionsdecisions

  • Nick Jonas

    Nick Jonas

    That's a wrap on KINGDOM season 2! Feel so fortunate to get to work with so many amazing people on this show. Next up... TOUR!

  • Carson Daly

    Carson Daly

    How much blunt force trauma can an Adam's apple take? My 6 yr old is putting it to the test. Feels like a wrecking ball on my larynx. #kids

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