Twilight Wedding Story Needs to be Left at the Altar
6:10 pm, September 16th, 2009
If Gossip Cop looks exhausted it’s because we spent the afternoon feeling sick after reading OK! magazine’s cover story.
Three is definitely not the charm for the weekly, which for the third consecutive week delivers an absurd, manipulative “Twilight” cover. Today’s bait-and-switch features a photo of a smiling Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart, with the headline, “Wedding of the Year,” along with the bullet points: “The vintage satin dress and sentimental ring,” Moonlit garden reception at the family home,” “Thousands of roses,” “Best man and bridesmaid,” Spectacular wedding cake,” “Exotic honeymoon.”
(Ooh, we’re getting queasy again.)
Of course, when you turn to the article, it explains that is has “the scoop on the big-screen ceremony, plus what to expect when Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson really tie the knot.”
Then the mag writes, “what’s remarkable about the sizzling relationship between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart – aka Twilight’s Edward Cullen and Bella Swan – is that each stage of the twosome’s love story mirrors Stephenie Meyer’s cult vampire saga.” Yes, according to OK!, the “art-life parallels are downright eerie.”
No, what’s eerie is how often OK! tries to peddle outright nonsense as news.
Nevertheless, the rag says the first book, “Twilight,” is about “unrequited love,” and reports that Pattinson had the hots for Stewart while she was dating Michael Angarano. In “New Moon,“ the couple drifts apart when she’s out of town. OK! claims that happened in real life, too, this summer, when Pattinson and Stewart were on opposite coasts working on different films. In “Eclipse,” Bella and Edward get engaged, and in “Breaking Dawn” they get married and have a child.
Here are a few problems already: The magazine already said they are “engaged,” which they are not! Also, the magazine goes on and on describing what the “Twilight Saga” wedding looks like. But the wedding takes place in “Breaking Dawn,” not “Eclipse,” the installment they are currently shooting. So how is it possible that they have the “scoop on the big-screen ceremony?”
And after OK! describes the film’s traditional and ornate wedding, it says, “As for Rob and Kris, this time they might depart from the script.” How can they? What about all the “art-life parallels [that] are downright eerie?” And how their “love story mirrors” the novels? It’s all hot air, including how Nikki Reed and Dakota Fanning will be Stewart’s bridesmaids for her non-traditional wedding.
OK! Once again, so not OK.
You might like:
- Was Brittany Murphy Poisoned?
- Which Aging Playboy Star Just Passed Away?
- Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Kids To Have Perfect Accents
- 10 Artists Who Stole Ideas & Never Gave Credit
- The Plastic Surgery That Changed Lisa Kudrow's Life
- Kris Humphries Auctions Off Kim Kardashian's Ring
- Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry Read Mean Tweets: Watch!
- Miranda Kerr's Sexy Souvenirs
- 15 Sexy Celebrity Hairstyles To Try
- Does Will Smith Think Jada's Style Is Whack?