True Tori Recap: Dean McDermott Unsure He Wants to Stay Married to Tori Spelling
Tuesday’s fourth episode of “True Tori” continued to amp up the drama, with Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott having vicious fights in and out of therapy, leading both to question whether they can stay married. Things picked up right where they left off last week, with McDermott, six days out of rehab, having a full-on meltdown after Spelling laid into him for his two-day affair during a counseling session.
“This is not okay,” a worried Spelling told the therapist. “He’s not okay.” McDermott promised he wouldn’t go “down the rabbit hole,” and finally calmed down with some soothing words and deep breathing.
Spelling feared McDermott was only “acting” improved, saying what the doctor needed to hear, and when the cameras eventually left, would resume the breakdown. The star nervously said, “If it means not talking about my feelings, I don’t give a f*ck. Then I’m not going to talk about my feelings. I’m not going to let you die over it. I’ll just suffer.”
Production once again became concerned about McDermott’s well-being, and Spelling confessed to producers that she was having regrets about the project. “I did this show because I wanted to tell my story. What I didn’t anticipate is how Dean would react,” she told the camera, adding, “It’s become more difficult. I don’t know if our marriage can handle this.”
For his part, McDermott insisted Spelling not stop opening up. “I’ve gotta sit with the consequences of what I’ve done,” he said in a confessional. “If we’re going to get through this, she has to just lay it on me.”
Spelling later told BFF Mehran that McDermott’s meltdown was just like his behavior when he was rushed to the hospital for psychiatric treatment after expressing suicidal feelings before rehab, but said she understood that she needed to “find my voice” and be candid about her feelings if their marriage was going to have any chance to resuming.
McDermott got some good and bad news when he found out his “Chopped Canada” series was renewed, which would require him to return to Toronto, the site of his fling, for two months. A mutual friend of the couple’s advised McDermott to resume the job and prove that he can handle it without screwing up again, but he worried about breaking the news to Spelling. The actress seemed sad, angry, and caught off-guard when McDermott finally told her two days later, and was shocked that he “could even think about going right now.”
Spelling admitted she thought McDermott would “never” go back to the show or city, and the matter was further complicated by the fact that McDermott’s production date coincided with the filming start of her new ABC Family series, “Mystery Girl.” “I feel like there’s no consequences to your actions, like despite everything. Like despite bad behavior, you keep winning,” Spelling angrily told him. McDermott disagreed, saying, “I did lose, babe. I lost my self-esteem. And from the most important person, I lost respect from you. Like this is make or break. It’s time for me to man up… Enough of the alcohol and the drugs and cheating.”
But Spelling felt this was a “no-win” situation for her, because if he went and left her alone with the kids again, she would resent him, and if he didn’t go, he’d risk his career and resent her. “It’s like, what the f*ck did I do to deserve this?'” she complained.
After working all day, Spelling was further shocked to return to home and find out that son Liam didn’t go to school, but was taken for a haircut by McDermott instead. Spelling called the decision “impulsive,” and the argument escalated into a fight about “Chopped” and their communication issues.
As McDermott exploded, she broke down in tears and he stormed off saying, “What the f*ck do you want from me anymore?” Concerned for his safety, Spelling asked a producer to follow the actor outside, where he complained, “She’s so controlling. I can’t give her what she wants. I’m the one who’s always wrong.” “I don’t know if I can stay in this marriage anymore,” he admitted.
The pair addressed the issue again in therapy, with Spelling explaining that she supports McDermott’s career, but as a wife and mother, returning to Toronto “feels wrong.” “I’m afraid there’s so many triggers,” she told their doctor. “His life was at stake. He was going to take his life. And now we’re talking about him going to the place that [started the issue]?” McDermott disagreed, saying that he could be triggered at anytime, anywhere, by anything, but vowed that cheating, drinking, and doing drugs was a thing of the past.
“Every day I’m going to live in so much fear of something bad happening,” Spelling complained, but got angrier as McDermott said he would back out right then and there, feeling that she was becoming the bad guy. She lamented that he wasn’t understanding, prompting McDermott to explain, “Then why are you with me?! I just sound awful.”
The actress explained that she wasn’t nurtured growing up, and that’s the one thing she wants from her relationship, but he won’t give it to her as it takes him back to a difficult childhood of caring for his ill mother. McDermott acknowledged to the camera that he doesn’t know how to be the caring person Spelling is seeking, but also declared, “I want this to work more than anything in my life. It’s just going to take some time, and I hope that I have that time. I hope Tori gives me that time.”
In hopes of showing Spelling his continued love for her, McDermott had a map made highlighting all the destinations that mean something special to them, and then he went to pick up two bearded dragons to add to their menagerie as a surprise for the family. Spelling was quite happy with the new pets, explaining, “Dean knows how much animals mean to me,” calling it a “huge thing” that he thought to do this. She sweetly thanked him, and the pair had their first heartwarming moment in days.
Now 11 days out of rehab, Spelling and McDermott had a spiritual-based therapy session, where the leader interestingly posed a question about the cheating: “Was it the worst thing that happened, or the best?” Spelling understood the point, saying the scandal has brought up trust and communication issues that they otherwise never would have discussed. She was encouraged to focus on her own personal growth, and “let Dean do his own work,” while he said his feelings of unworthiness stemmed from his childhood relationship with his dad whom he could never please.
McDermott later made a dinner for the former “90210” star “to make her feel special” and “have a little time for ourselves,” where he could “spoil [her] a little bit.” Spelling half-jokingly wondered whether he included an oyster because it’s an aphrodisiac for their first “adult time” since his return home.
“I’m angry, I’m resentful that those things that away. That these little moments are now happening because something bad happened, and he’s making up for it,” she told the camera.
McDermott went on to present her with gifts, including the map and massage oil, which she was puzzled by because it was labeled “personal lubricant.” Still Spelling was touched, and McDermott admitted he was trying to be nurturing, prompting her to wonder, “Will you still be doing things like this in a few months? Will you still be doing this when there’s not a camera filming this?” He insisted that he would, explaining, “I’m tired of fighting against my responsibilities… I don’t want to be a checked-out father, a checked-out dad… I have 40 years of patterns to change.”
Spelling warned him, “I told you, I give and I give and I give. But one day I snap, I don’t go back. I’m done. I walk away.” She began to cry and went on, “You just have to know you hurt me. You broke my heart. You humiliated me in front of the world.”
McDermott told her, “I’m so sorry. I owe you a lifetime of apologies. I owe you a husband.” “And then some,” replied Spelling, to which he agreed. “My heart can’t take it anymore.”
The couple actually exchanged “I love you,” but the preview for next week shows Spelling completely breaking down in sobs during a major argument in addition to getting rushed to the hospital. Stay tuned!