True Tori Premiere Recap: Spelling Visits Dean McDermott at Rehab for the First Time
The first episode kicked off on April 4, with Spelling going to visit McDermott in a rehab center where he’d been receiving treatment in the three months since the scandal broke.
“I know it’s going to be hard, and at the same time I feel really excited to see him, and I feel like that’s the wrong thing to say,” she tearfully said.
She went on, “I feel it makes me sound weak, but it’s been really hard and I miss him. I miss having my best friend… I had it for seven years and it was just gone one day.”
Spelling explained to the camera that she first assumed the rumor of McDermott’s cheating to be false, and he initially played dumb when she confronted him.
McDermott later said he and Goodhand had only kissed, but Spelling demanded he tell her the full truth if he wanted any chance of staying together.
Spelling said McDermott “voluntarily” went into treatment before the story even hit newsstands, leaving her and their four young kids alone at Christmas and beyond.
“I know that he’s my soulmate. I know that he’s the love my of my life. I also know he broke my heart,” she confessed, later even saying she’s “still in love with him.”
Life as a single mom meant getting the eldest kids to school late, struggling to keep up with work, and trying to avoid increased scrutiny from the paparazzi, with help from her closest friends and only one phone call a day with McDermott.
Spelling’s visit to the rehab marked the first time she and McDermott discussed the affair and the state of their relationship in person since he left home.
At the meeting, McDermott’s therapist said he was dealing with addiction, depression and “the fallout from his affair,” and Spelling acknowledged that some of the issues were years-old, revealing that just a few months into their relationship, she saw a whole new side of him.
But now, “I sh*t on our life,” McDermott said, noting he’s dealing with alcoholism and other problems after “lying his whole life.”
The “Chopped Canada” host said to Spelling point-blank, “I cheated on you. I cheated on you and I lied to you.”
He went on, “There’s one thing that I want to say, genuinely, that I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you.”
But Spelling admitted to the camera that McDermott has promised to change many times over the years, and she’s been “let down over and over again,” and doesn’t believe this time will be different.
“I miss you guys like crazy,” McDermott told her later on, before asking if he could come home “soon,” saying he was “really ready.”
Spelling replied, “I don’t think I’m comfortable with that yet… That’s the only thing I have,” going on to admit she’s been so angry that she hasn’t allowed herself to feel hurt yet.
She refused a hug and really all physical contact from McDermott, who offered to let her slap him, but she wouldn’t.
Back at home, Spelling was saddened by a false tabloid cover that used a five-years-old picture to claim she was “wasting away” and “hospitalized” in the wake of McDermott’s cheating.
Talking to her friends, the actress said she understands that her husband had a rough childhood, but knowing that makes her feel like she can’t be “angry” over his behavior.
“I don’t even know how you go back to trusting someone after this,” she said, adding that everything “feels impossible.”
She continued before breaking down sobbing, “I didn’t plan on raising four kids alone… but what, am I going to take him back just because of that?”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve all this,” she cried.
Spelling, reflecting on how amazing their romance once was, told the camera through tears, “I’m so scared that we won’t grow old together. That’s my biggest fear.”
Check out the video clip below, and tell us what you think of the premiere.