Beyonce Gwyneth Paltrow Jay-Z Jesus Luz Lourdes Madonna Sun (UK) the sun

July 6th, 2010

Since The Sun is often written like a mediocre junior high newspaper, it makes sense that it would mistake schoolyard dynamics for actual news.

“Former pals Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow have done nothing to end rumours of a fall-out,” reports the outlet.

The “rumours,” based almost entirely on out-of-context quotes, have been around for months without being the least bit true.

What did the Sun witness that breathed new life into the nonsense?

Babybird Johnny Depp Johnny Depp mugged Johnny Depp mugger Johnny Depp stops mugging Stephen Jones Sun (UK)

May 3rd, 2010

Did Johnny Depp step off the screen to become a daring, real-life crime fighter?

According to The Sun, Depp rescued musician pal Stephen Jones “from a mugger brandishing a broken bottle” as he and Jones left a Los Angeles recording studio.

Gossip Cop has the real story.

Britney Spears Britney Spears bra Britney Spears breasts Britney Spears dad Jamie Spears Jason Trawick Sun (UK) the sun

April 24th, 2010

Talk about a Britney Spears story with no “support.”

There’s a rumor everywhere — thanks to The Sun — that Spears is forbidden to leave home without wearing a bra.

You read that correctly.

According to the paper, father Jamie Spears is embarrassed by “constant pictures of her nipples popping out of her clothes,” and insists Britney leave her house wearing the proper undergarments.

Rihanna Rihanna ailment Rihanna European tour Rihanna mystery illness Rihanna sick Sun (UK) the sun

April 21st, 2010

The Sun raised a lot of concern about Rihanna – but unnecessarily so. The paper claims Rihanna was “rushed to [the] hospital” in Switzerland on Monday night.

After playing a sold-out concert in Zurich, the superstar was reportedly “taken to a private clinic via a blacked-out Mercedes” just after midnight. According to the Sun, Rihanna was “quickly escorted to the accident and emergency department” by her driver, bodyguard and assistant to receive treatment for a “mystery ailment.”

Too bad that’s not what actually happened.

All Apologies Courtney Love kurt Cobain Rob Pattinson Robert Pattinson Robert Pattinson Cobain Robert Pattinson Kurt Cobain Scarlett Johansson Sun (UK) the sun

April 9th, 2010

Is Robert Pattinson going from fanging to head banging?

The Sun raised eyebrows EVERYWHERE this morning with a report that Pattinson “has landed his dream film role — playing Kurt Cobain in a Hollywood biopic.” Noting that Pattinson “has always thought of himself as a musician rather than an actor,” the paper says “securing a part” as the late Cobain “is ideal for the pin-up.”

Kim Kardashian Nikki Beach Club Sun (UK) the sun Wayne Bridge

March 26th, 2010

The Sun has an “exclusive” report on whose “hot new date” Kim Kardashian is.

We’re sure Kardashian’s more anxious than anyone to find out.

According to the paper, soccer star Wayne Bridge and Kardashian were introduced at Miami’s Nikki Beach Club earlier this month.

Unfortunately, Kardashian has no clue who Bridge is.

Remember Me Robert Pattinson Robert Pattinson deaf Robert Pattinson hearing Robert Pattinson hearing loss Sun (UK) the sun Twilight

March 25th, 2010

For as well as they claim to know Robert Pattinson’s life, many outlets still can’t seem to recognize the actor’s trademark facetiousness when they see it.

According to The Sun, Pattinson “is terrified his screaming fans are making him deaf.”

Really?

The Twilight superstar supposedly “revealed” recently that he “already suffers serious hearing difficulties — being made worse by the shrieks of his obsessed female followers.”

Justin Bieber Justin Bieber Mariah Carey Justin Bieber The Sun Mariah Carey Michael Jordan Sun (UK) the sun

March 24th, 2010

Did Justin Bieber diss Mariah Carey?

The world is abuzz after the teen pop superstar reportedly had some harsh words for Carey during an interview with The Sun.

Asked whether he’d like to collaborate with the songstress, Bieber is quoted as saying, “I don’t love her new music, it’s not the same. It’s like Michael Jordan coming back out to play in the NBA. She is past her best.”

Whoa!