Katie Holmes National Enquirer Tom Cruise

March 7th, 2013

“Katie Holmes Therapy Bombshell,” blares a headline from the National Enquirer, which claims the actress is currently in counseling “to deal with the emotional aftermath of her marriage to Tom Cruise.”

The supermarket tabloid reports that Holmes recently confessed to a so-called “friend,” “Tom ruined me emotionally!”

Really?

Katie Holmes suri cruise Tom Cruise

March 6th, 2013

Suri Cruise is at the center of a “bone-chilling kidnap shocker” that has Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes surrounding the 6-year-old with a body double, bombproof vehicles, extra bodyguards, and a panic room, according to the National Enquirer.

The tabloid, which has spent months publishing bogus stories about the little girl, is raising the ante this week, claiming her famous parents are spending $12 million to protect her after a “frightening incident” allegedly left them shaken.

Katie Holmes new york daily news suri cruise Tom Cruise

February 26th, 2013

“Suri Cruise is just six and has never made a movie, but she apparently already has the kind of accessory reserved for [the] biggest stars — a body double,” begins a ridiculous piece from the New York Daily News.

According to the paper, a look-alike has been hired for the child because her dad Tom Cruise is “obsessed” with security.

Seriously?!

Dancing with the Stars Katie Holmes suri cruise

February 6th, 2013

“Katie Holmes wants a spot on ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ and she’s being urged to go for it by her No. 1 fan — 6-year-old daughter Suri,” declares the National Enquirer.

According to the tabloid, “Insiders say it may be the perfect vehicle to super-charge Katie’s career, which has been in a tailspin since her August divorce from Tom Cruise.”

Katie Holmes National Enquirer Tom Cruise

January 30th, 2013

Tom Cruise is buying a “spectacular $25 million estate in Hawaii” where he plans to “whisk” Suri away from Katie Holmes, reports the National Enquirer.

According to the mag, Cruise “made the decision” to buy the property after vacationing in Lanai with his producer friend David Ellison, whose father owns most of the tiny island.

Anne Hathaway Katie Holmes

January 26th, 2013

“The claws are out between the ‘Batman’ babes after Anne Hathaway poked fun at Katie Holmes during a November appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live,’” reports the National Enquirer.

According to the tabloid, Hathaway has “conspicuously neglected” to apologize to Holmes for her impersonation, highlighting what the Enquirer deems an epic “feud” between the actresses.

Katie Holmes National Enquirer Tom Cruise

January 24th, 2013

Katie Holmes has “decided to make a career change,” reports the National Enquirer, which claims the actress “may be headed to law school.”

The supermarket tabloid quotes a supposed “source” as saying, “Katie started acting as a teenager, and she’s grown tired of that world.”

Really?

Katie Holmes suri cruise Tom Cruise

January 23rd, 2013

“Suri is ready for her close-up,” begins a piece from Star, which claims Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ six-year-old daughter is “set to follow in the footsteps” of Romeo Beckham and “model for Burberry Kids.”

According to the mag, Holmes is “all for it,” but Cruise “isn’t so sure” about the supposed modeling gig.

How come?