Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Brangelina Ian Halperin In Touch In Touch Weekly Jane Pitt Jon Voight Star Star Magazine

September 11th, 2010

Lazy minds think alike.

This week, In Touch editors borrow a page from the gang over at Star, lifting rumors from low-grade Angelina Jolie biographer Ian Halperin that suggest Brad Pitt has engaged in an “ongoing flirtation” with a French flight attendant named Racine.

Of course, in its continuing, laughable campaign to create the illusion of a Brangelina rift, In Touch takes the story in a slightly different direction.

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September 4th, 2010

In Touch may have topped itself this week.

The magazine’s predictable efforts to fabricate discord between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have become so stale, the tab is forced to play more and more laughable angles in an attempt to convince readers that the perfectly happy couple they see is only a mirage.

This week’s argument?

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Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Brangelina In Touch Jane Pitt Jennifer Aniston

August 28th, 2010

It’s Saturday, which means it’s time for In Touch to fall further down the rabbit hole of fabricated Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie drama!

And since the magazine is nothing if not unoriginal, it’s brought back into the mix Pitt’s ex Jennifer Aniston and his mom, Jane Pitt.

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August 21st, 2010

At some point, In Touch stops reading like an actual celebrity news magazine and crosses the line into what looks like parody.

The difference is that parody is self-aware.

In recent months, the tab has written roughly six thousand articles claiming Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in trouble. A thread running through many of these stories is that Jolie tries to seem happy in public… which is (somehow) “proof” that she’s actually unhappy.

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August 15th, 2010

Apparently, In Touch is going to keep concocting rumors about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt instead of backing off its futile, months-long campaign to prove the couple is in trouble.

So we’re going to keep calling the tab on its nonsense.

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Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Brangelina Jennifer Aniston OK!

August 4th, 2010

This week OK! magazine closely follows the playbook for what a dull, derivative tabloid does when it has absolutely no news to break.

Jennifer Aniston is “stealing” Brad Pitt back from Angelina Jolie, claims the mag, using the occasion of Aniston and Pitt’s 10th non-anniversary to describe how Pitt’s ex is getting “the ultimate revenge” on Jolie.

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July 20th, 2010

“Jennifer Aniston Left Town Before Angelina Jolie’s ‘Salt’ Premiere! She Just Couldn’t Stand The Heat!” reads a headline from HollywoodLife, which goes on to write, “Kudos to Jen! She got out of town just in time to avoid the drama of ex-hubby Brad being in LA with Angie!” But did Aniston really leave L.A. to “avoid the drama”?

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Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie twins Brad Pitt Brad Pitt Caden Brad Pitt hometown Brad Pitt nephew Brad Pitt twins Brangelina In Touch Jon Voight

July 17th, 2010

No magazine surveys the wonders of nature like National Geographic.

No magazine covers popular music like Rolling Stone.

And no magazine botches Brangelina like In Touch.

Yes, the tabloid is at it again, doing its best to cover up a litany of previous stumbles by focusing readers’ attention on a new imaginary crisis for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

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