(GettyImages.com)

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the subjects of tabloid rumors week after week, generally with the same theme – they and/or their kids are fighting.

And Gossip Cop keeps busy busting those false reports.

Well, despite the repetitious magazine malarky, Brangelina and their brood are perfectly happy together.

In fact, today the celebrity couple and their kids – Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, and twins Knox and Vivienne – hit the streets of New Orleans, where Pitt is shooting the thriller Cogan’s Trade.

The whole clan head out earlier to a favorite Pitt stop – Verti Marte Deli, where they picked up snacks.

Click here for PHOTOS of them out-and-about in the Big Easy.

Of course, we can guarantee the tabs will somehow or another find a way to spin trouble out of what was a family fun day.

Just wait.

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(In Touch)

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie recently staged a “secret wedding,” claims In Touch, the same magazine that’s long insisted the couple’s relationship is going down the tubes.

How to explain the tab’s abrupt reversal?

Well, it’s downright easy – when little things like facts and reality aren’t allowed to mess up a good bait-and-switch cover story!

According to In Touch, Brangelina “whisked their six children off to a tropical paradise” – a resort in the Seychelles Islands – where they “exchanged vows” on November 23.

Wow, that’s incredible!

Ah, but lost in the cover’s breathless announcement about the couple’s alleged decision to “tie the knot” and their “intimate beach ceremony” is a tiny detail.

The wedding was all imaginary.

“It was a very private, pretend wedding mainly for the kids,” an In Touch “insider” reports.

Supposedly, Pitt and Jolie treated their children to faux nuptials, thereby honoring the kids’ wishes to see them marry. The so-called “fairy-tale wedding” was an elaborate trick. “The kids now think Mommy and Daddy are married,” explains the tabloid’s “insider.”

This was “pretend,” all right.

Except the “trick” wasn’t played on Pitt and Jolie’s kids. It was played on In Touch‘s readers.

Anyone scanning the cover would assume Brangelina shocked the world with a tropical wedding after years of saying they wouldn’t officially marry.

What actually happened, though, was a family vacation.

There was no ceremony. There was no “rehearsal for the real wedding,” which the “insider” guesses “will take place very soon, probably in Hungary.” There were no rings, no vows, and no nuptials, period.

Jolie and Pitt and their children just happen to be happy, which messes up everything In Touch has written about them week after week after week after week.

So the mag decided to do what it does best – slap another fairy tale on the cover.

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(GettyImages.com)

A little more than a week ago, Angelina Jolie told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show that she and Brad Pitt were going to “travel with the kids and go to a random part in the world” for the holidays.

It turns out, the Jolie-Pitts are spending Christmas in a not-so-random part of the world – Namibia.

The couple and their kids were spotted the other day Christmas shopping at a mall in Windhoek, which is Namibia’s capital.

The reason Namibia isn’t so “random” is because it’s the birth place of Brangelina’s daughter Shiloh, who was born in the African country’s seaside town of Swakopmund four and a half year ago.

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(GettyImages.com)

In Touch‘s obsession with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has led to frequent, laughable stories that basically treat every small detail of their lives as evidence of trouble.

This week is no different.

According to the tabloid, Jolie forced Pitt to “rush” back to Budapest from the New York premiere of his movie Megamind. Supposedly, the actress, now in Hungary to direct her first film, “has become more needy” and “dependent” on Pitt than ever.

She “may want the world to think of her as the ultimate strong, independent woman,” explains In Touch, “but these days, nothing could be further from the truth.”

The tabloid claims Jolie is “in over her head” with her directing gig, and can’t function without Pitt.

After allegedly “refusing” to let Pitt attend Megamind‘s Los Angeles premiere, Jolie agreed that he could go to the New York one — but abruptly “changed her mind,” forcing him to come back to Europe after just one day.

Uh huh.

In Touch knows that Pitt went to his premiere in the United States despite the magazine’s insistence that Jolie was opposed to it, and the tab has pictures of the family looking happy when he got back to Budapest.

So instead of just dropping the premise that Pitt’s trip was somehow devastating to Jolie, In Touch invents a dramatic scenario in which Pitt had to rush back to a desperate Jolie’s side, rescuing their family’s happiness.

Here’s what actually happened:

Along with sons Maddox and Pax, Pitt went to an East Coast premiere of his movie, as planned, and then returned to Hungary, as planned.

That’s it.

No trauma.

Just In Touch bending its crooked narrative to match reality.

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(GettyImages.com)

It’s time once again to dip our toe into the foul-smelling waters of an In Touch hit piece on Angelina Jolie.

The magazine has a well-known “reality” problem when it comes to Jolie, and this week is no different.

Where once the tab manipulated photos to support a claim that her kids call Jolie “The Dragon,” it now alleges that she’s turned into a “monster.”

“Sources” tell In Touch that the star is “acting like a tyrant and making life miserable” for the crew on the set of her directorial debut in Budapest.

“She was like a madwoman, screaming really loud and speaking English so fast and in such a high-pitched voice, it was hard to understand,” alleges one so-called “insider.”

Uh huh. And what caused this supposed tantrum?

In Touch argues that Jolie was furious with the Bosnian government revoking her permit to film in Sarajevo — an issue which has since been resolved — and took it out on her staff.

Jolie also supposedly enforces a set of rules under which no one can make personal phone calls or even use the bathroom without her authorization. “There are penalties” for breaking Jolie’s alleged rules, claims one “insider.”

Indeed, one extra tells the tabloid, “We are not allowed to ask questions or have an opinion on pretty much anything — we are considered to be employee-robots.”

Once again, though, it’s In Touch that appears to be on autopilot.

A source on the set assures Gossip Cop that the mag’s latest portrayal of Jolie is as distorted as previous depictions. As for the actress-turned-director being a “monster on the set” with a list of draconian rules, we’re told it’s simply “not true.”

On the contrary, the source says given the film’s initial setbacks, “she’s been nothing but focused and professional.”

Check out PHOTOS of a smiling Angelina Jolie on the set of her film

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(GettyImages.com)

As Gossip Cop reported this week, Angelina Jolie and four of her children have gone to Budapest, Hungary, where Jolie will be filming her directorial debut.

And, because In Touch is obsessed with transforming Jolie’s every move into controversy, the magazine is depicting the travel as a major crisis.

“A Family Torn Apart,” declares a headline in the tab, which claims that the kids’ enrollment in school in Hungary has taken the couple’s desire for them to be “citizens of the world” way “too far.”

Pitt is “heartbroken,” according to a “friend” quoted by In Touch, because he misses his family and “wants to make sure that his kids are normal kids, just like he was.”

“This is very divisive for their family,” says a random “relationship expert” the magazine cites.

We wonder whether Jolie’s decision to stay with her kids while she shoots a movie is as “divisive” as her humanitarian interest in flood-ravaged Pakistan, which In Touch also managed to hold against her.

When Jolie is with her children, the tabloid says it’s just for show, or goes so far as to manipulate photographs to make it seem like she’s an inadequate mom. So if she’d gone to Budapest without them, In Touch would be calling her an absentee mother.

Once again, it’s a no-win situation for Jolie when it comes to the magazine that has desperately — and wrongly — yelled for months that she’s imperiling her family.

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(GettyImages.com)

It’s time once again for In Touch‘s futile weekly attempt to say something relevant about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

According to the magazine, the couple had a big argument before Jolie took a trip to London.

So what was the latest imaginary fight about? Their children? Their parents? Pakistan? Flight attendants?

Nope, this time In Touch returns to an old favorite: sex scenes.

Supposedly, Pitt saw an early screening of Jolie’s upcoming The Tourist and was shocked by her love scenes with Johnny Depp, which were far more “passionate and risque than he was ever told by Angie,” according to a “friend.”

“Brad feels jealous and betrayed,” alleges the same mag source, purportedly because Jolie had told him the scenes “were tame — almost silly.”

“Silly” actually describes the entire In Touch article, which goes on to claim that Jolie has had a crush on Depp for years, which is why she “really let loose” in their scenes.

In Touch tried a similar route a few months ago when it insisted that Jolie had flown into a “jealous rage” over a Pitt sex scene in Moneyball.

Enough.

Neither star is hung up on the other’s intimate movie scenes because, unlike the tabloids, the couple is well acquainted with professionalism. They aren’t naive, petulant children squabbling over on-screen “steaminess.”

Of course, maturity and reasoned arguments aren’t what we expect from In Touch.

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(GettyImages.com)

The gang at In Touch may be journalistically bankrupt, but their imaginations are definitely firing on all cylinders.

Like Wile E. Coyote chasing The Road Runner, In Touch continues to invent spectacular new ways to be wrong about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

This week, it’s Jolie’s humanitarianism that (somehow) signals a major problem in the couple’s relationship.

According to the tab’s insider, Pitt “begged” Jolie to postpone her recent visit to flood-ravaged Pakistan “both because of his concern for her health and safety and because he wanted her to stay with the children” while he filmed Moneyball.

“Angie didn’t want to hear it and ultimately didn’t care what Brad said,” claims the “insider.”

Besides putting Pitt “on pins and needles” over her safety, Jolie herself is allegedly “making herself sick with worry” over the plight of Pakistanis.

Rather than focusing on the couple’s good works, In Touch tries to portray Jolie as reckless, with “the need to flit off to every dangerous disaster area.”

Of course, just a few weeks ago the same magazine insisted that Jolie was too focused on Pitt and the kids, and that her mission was “showing devotion to her family” for appearances’ sake.

According to In Touch‘s twisted logic, Jolie’s international humanitarian work has become a negative strain on her loved ones, and when she does spend time kicking back with the family, it’s all fake.

Instead of dictating her travel schedule and criticizing volunteer work, maybe In Touch should leave Jolie alone and stop seeing relationship doom in everything she does.

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(GettyImages.com)

Lazy minds think alike.

This week, In Touch editors borrow a page from the gang over at Star, lifting rumors from low-grade Angelina Jolie biographer Ian Halperin that suggest Brad Pitt has engaged in an “ongoing flirtation” with a French flight attendant named Racine.

Of course, in its continuing, laughable campaign to create the illusion of a Brangelina rift, In Touch takes the story in a slightly different direction.

Halperin informs the tabloid that Pitt speaks with the Air France flight attendant “several times a week,” and that someone who “has seen Brad and Racine together say they are an amazing pair.”

Did this “someone” forget that “Racine” supposedly works for a private jet company – not Air France — according to Star‘s version of the same “flirtation”?

Just asking.

Because there are no actual facts behind this story, In Touch pads the nonsense with a veritable Pu-Pu platter of its previously debunked theories for unrest between Pitt and Aniston.

The mag recycles last week’s notion that Pitt is “looking better than ever,” making Jolie worried that she’ll lose him. There are also references to the end of a supposed feud between Jolie and Jane Pitt, as well as Jolie’s mending of fences with dad Jon Voight, itself an example of In Touch-concocted tension.

The tabloid writes of these imaginary events as though they’re instances of Jolie “bending over backward” to keep Pitt.

But along with the “Racine” rumor, they’re actually just In Touch‘s flights of fancy.

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(GettyImages.com)

In Touch may have topped itself this week.

The magazine’s predictable efforts to fabricate discord between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have become so stale, the tab is forced to play more and more laughable angles in an attempt to convince readers that the perfectly happy couple they see is only a mirage.

This week’s argument?

Angelina Jolie is plain.

Well, not exactly, but In Touch‘s premise seems to be that she’s no longer attractive enough for Pitt.

After sporting a gray goatee for much of the past year, a “fitter and younger-looking Brad touched down in New Orleans to mark the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina,” observes the tabloid.

Claims a mag insider, “This is how Brad used to look, and he really likes feeling hot again.”

The problem is that his rejuvenated appearance “is in stark contrast to his increasingly gaunt-looking partner,” Jolie, whom the “insider” says has been “looking like a walking stick figure.”

Yes, Angelina Jolie, who dropped jaws this summer as a ridiculously fit, gorgeous spy in Salt, and who “regularly tops ‘most beautiful’ lists the world over” (In Touch‘s own words!) is supposedly too unattractive to stand next to Pitt.

“Brad is back in the spotlight and it’s no longer the Angelina show 24-7,” explains the tab’s insider, who claims, “She will have to keep an eye out for all those young girls on the set of [Pitt's movie] Moneyball.”

First of all, Jolie and Pitt are not competing against each other in a pageant. They started their relationship as two of the world’s most attractive people, and whether or not Pitt has a beard, they still are.

To suggest that Pitt looking a bit younger means Jolie is now “desperate to keep” him implies that he was undesirable until late August. Beauty may be subjective, but that’s pure nonsense.

We also like how In Touch uses Jolie’s trip to be with Pitt in New Orleans against her. “Angelina knows that it would be a terrible mistake if she were to lose Brad, so she has decided to make a real effort to be with him,” says the tab’s insider.

In other words, their being together somehow means she’s insecure and frantic. Of course, if she hadn’t gone to New Orleans, In Touch would be arguing that they had fought bitterly.

Whether Jolie spends time with Pitt or without him, the magazine is going to use it as evidence of a fragile relationship. They just can’t win.

Beautiful.

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(In Touch)

It’s Saturday, which means it’s time for In Touch to fall further down the rabbit hole of fabricated Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie drama!

And since the magazine is nothing if not unoriginal, it’s brought back into the mix Pitt’s ex, Jennifer Aniston, and his mom, Jane Pitt.

According to the tab, Jolie brought toddler twins Knox and Vivienne on a recent trip to Budapest to spite Pitt’s mother, who was supposed to watch them at the couple’s home.

Why?

Because Jane’s “ongoing relationship” with Aniston upsets Jolie, who thinks of their friendship as a “slap in the face,” explains In Touch. The magazine claims Mrs. Pitt and Aniston “still talk at least once a month,” confiding in each other and behaving like mother and daughter.

“Angelina feels that she — not Jen — should take precedence with [Pitt's] parents,” and is “intent on sending Jen a message” through keeping Jane Pitt “out of the loop about family travel plans.”

Yes, because the logical way to win over your partner’s mother is by deliberately freezing her out of her grandchildren’s lives to settle a petty personal score with someone else.

That makes a lot of sense.

The premise, of course, is total nonsense. In Touch has tried to estrange Jolie from everyone — Pitt, their children, his family, his ex, etc. — and only looks more and more estranged from reality.

In Touch pushes the old “Brad and Angelina are in trouble” boulder up the hill time after time, only to look silly when the couple happily stays together. It’s cute to watch… but it’s gotten more than a little pathetic.

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(GettyImages.com)

At some point, In Touch stops reading like an actual celebrity news magazine and crosses the line into what looks like parody.

The difference is that parody is self-aware.

In recent months, the tab has written roughly six thousand articles claiming Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in trouble. A thread running through many of these stories is that Jolie tries to seem happy in public… which is (somehow) “proof” that she’s actually unhappy.

In Touch even used a variation on this idea last week, when it insisted that Jolie only “looked like a devoted partner and loving mother” as a charade to compensate for supposed guilt.

This week, right off the bat, the magazine quotes an “onlooker” who allegedly saw Jolie meet with a friend in London. “She looked stressed out and exhausted,” says the In Touch source.

Without a hint of irony, the tabloid then declares, “And appearances don’t lie.”

Appearances don’t lie?

In Touch previously argued that appearances always lie.

In any case, the newest assault on Brangelina contends that “the root of [the couple's] problems is their sex life,” which the tab claims has all but disappeared.

As proof of these so-called “intimacy troubles,” In Touch provides… well, nothing.

It lamely points out that having six children in four years “changed the couple’s priorities” (um, we’d hope so), and that they spend a lot of time traveling and tired. “These days,” laments the magazine, “The kids seem to be the only thing Brad and Angelina have in common anymore.”

So a couple with several children has sex less frequently than when they first met?

Wow! In Touch just discovered what every hack stand-up comedian has been joking about for 50 years!

How completely lacking in insight!

Gossip Cop has a feeling it’ll be another 50 years of weekly updates on Jolie and Pitt’s supposed “troubles” before the tabloid gives up what’s become an embarrassing exercise.

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(GettyImages.com)

Apparently, In Touch is going to keep concocting rumors about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt instead of backing off its futile, months-long campaign to prove the couple is in trouble.

So we’re going to keep calling the tab on its nonsense.

Jolie has again run afoul of the magazine by being too involved as a wife and mom. For instance, while watching Pitt and son Maddox race go-karts during his 9th birthday party, Jolie “looked like a devoted partner and loving mother.”

How… horrible?

Well, the problem, In Touch claims, is that it’s all a charade.

“Being overly polite, as well as showing devotion to her family, has become [Jolie's] goal,” allege the tab’s “insiders.” The nice behavior is explained as compensation for the guilt Jolie supposedly feels after the release of an unauthorized, unflattering biography.

According to the mag, Jolie is cynically “making it her mission to stay home with the kids and prove how great a parent and role model she can be.”

She’s even said to have suggested trips to visit Pitt’s family in Missouri, “something she’s always been against in the past.”

No, it’s actually something In Touch has wrongly insisted she’s “been against.”

At what point does In Touch stop recycling its own discredited theories as though they’re evidence of Brangelina drama? And when will the tabloid stop asking its readers to believe that if something (or someone) looks happy, it must be fake?

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(OK! magazine)

This week OK! magazine closely follows the playbook for what a dull, derivative tabloid does when it has absolutely no news to break.

Jennifer Aniston is “stealing” Brad Pitt back from Angelina Jolie, claims the mag, using the occasion of Aniston and Pitt’s 10th non-anniversary to describe how Pitt’s ex is getting “the ultimate revenge” on Jolie.

Aniston is “turning up the heat” by shooting a “steamy ad campaign” for her fragrance and taking a “boldly sexual role” in the upcoming Horrible Bosses.

Gee, hard to argue with that “evidence.”

After all, advertising and comedies never rely on sex to sell (cough), so Aniston’s choices can only be interpreted as part of a larger scheme to break up Pitt’s relationship.

It’s a particularly opportune time to strike, OK! explains, with the recent release of “Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography,” which exposes Jolie’s “dark side” and allegedly “has troubled traditional, Midwest-reared Brad.”

Um, has Pitt become more “traditional” or “Midwest-reared” since hooking up with the former wild child five years ago? Because apparently OK! expects us to believe their relationship will be derailed by stories that are even more ancient than when he happily began a family with her.

And then there are the tired, old, (and wrong) claims about constant contact between Pitt and Aniston.

She’s “looking to get even closer to Brad with late-night phone calls, gifts and private meetings,” say “insiders” for OK!

No. She isn’t.

OK! is the same outlet that insisted back in January that Pitt and Aniston had an “emotional reunion” at the Haiti relief telethon, when, in fact, they never even met face-to-face.

Then in February, the mag argued Pitt was still “in love” with Aniston and that he and Jolie were “leading 100 percent separate lives.” It wasn’t the case then, and it’s not the case now. And as month after month of happy couplehood passes, OK! is looking more and more foolish.

This latest desperate cover story is no less silly.

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(HollywoodLife.com)

“Jennifer Aniston Left Town Before Angelina Jolie’s ‘Salt’ Premiere! She Just Couldn’t Stand The Heat!” reads another ridiculous headline from HollywoodLife, which goes on to preposterously write, “Kudos to Jen! She got out of town just in time to avoid the drama of ex-hubby Brad being in LA with Angie!”

Huh?

The site foolishly continues: “What a smart move on Jennifer Aniston’s part. She dipped out of town, July 19, heading to Heathrow Airport in London (where she landed on July 20), just as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took over LA for the premiere of Angelina’s new action-thriller Salt!”

Wait, it gets worse.

HollywoodLife, which really knows nothing about the lives of Hollywood stars, then speculates, “Jen probably didn’t want to deal with all the drama associated with Brad being the center of attention. It would have been too much for her to handle, so it was wise choice for her to get away before he arrived with Angie.”

Or…

The real reason..

Aniston arrived in London earlier today because tomorrow she’s promoting her new fragrance at the famed Harrods department store.

Aniston’s flight to London has 100 percent to do with her perfume, “Jennifer Aniston” – which HollywoodLife wrongly called “Lolavie” yesterday – and absolutely zero to do with Brangelina.

Speaking of zero, that’s what we’re rating HollywoodLife’s latest failure – and we’re being extremely generous.

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(GettyImages.com)

No magazine surveys the wonders of nature like National Geographic.

No magazine covers popular music like Rolling Stone.

And no magazine botches Brangelina like In Touch.

Yes, the tabloid is at it again, doing its best to cover up a litany of previous stumbles by focusing readers’ attention on a new imaginary crisis for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Last week, you’ll recall, In Touch insisted a bitter fight over Jolie’s father, Jon Voight, led Pitt to “ban” Voight from his twin grandchildren’s birthday party and Jolie, in turn, to vacation in Cancun without Pitt. It was a deliciously ridiculous “report.”

Now, the mag claims, Jolie has nixed the idea of spending the twins’ birthday in Pitt’s hometown of Springfield, MO.

According to the couple’s “friend,” Pitt wanted to visit his family since sister Julie’s adopted son Caden is too sick to fly to Los Angeles. But Jolie “seemed to retaliate,” informing Pitt that if Voight couldn’t celebrate with them in L.A., she definitely wouldn’t travel to Missouri.

“If Brad couldn’t make a compromise and let her father come to the party,” the “friend” tells In Touch, “Why should she?”

Speaking of birthday parties, In Touch is starting to remind Gossip Cop of a blindfolded child wildly swinging a bat more than a dozen feet from the pinata.

Don’t expect much contact with anything solid.

There is no lingering feud about the party. There are no acts of retaliation.

Just another week of In Touch trying to squeeze water from a stone and looking foolish in the process.

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(GettyImages.com)

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt supposedly fought so bitterly about her father, Jon Voight, Pitt stayed home from a family trip to Cancun, claims an absurd new tabloid “report.”

What makes this latest nonsense so amusing is that it comes from In Touch, which has tried for months to convince readers the couple is in trouble. Each time, reality has intervened as the pair stays together and perfectly content.

Way back in March of last year, the mag claimed Pitt and Jolie were “barely speaking” and on the verge of breaking up. In Touch insisted they were supposedly “living separate lives” by October 2009.

At one point, Pitt was said to be “running back” to ex-wife Jennifer Aniston, while Jolie allegedly “feuded” with Pitt’s mother, straining their relations “to the breaking point.”

The mag later embarrassed itself with another fabricated “exclusive” about Jolie’s “rage” over Aniston. It laughably claimed Pitt plans a professional escape to Siberia “with tension escalating” back at home.

Throughout it all, Pitt and Jolie appeared frequently together, traveled around the world, raised their children, and otherwise put the circling vultures at In Touch to shame.

The mag’s getting even more desperate.

Last week, it was Jolie’s (non-existent) “jealous rage” over Pitt’s steamy sex scene in Moneyball.

And now the relationship is allegedly in trouble because of Jon Voight’s politics.

“Enraged” and “shocked” by Voight’s recent criticism of President Obama, Pitt felt “betrayed” and “totally understands why Angie was not speaking to [her father] for several years,” according to an “insider.” So Pitt decided to “ban” Voight from his grandchildren’s recent birthday party, triggering Jolie’s anger and explaining why she spent time in Cancun without him.

Enough already.

There was no stormy fight, sources assure Gossip Cop, no “shock” at Voight’s (very well-known) political views, and no ruined family vacation.

Just two busy people who happened to be apart for more than twenty minutes.

And In Touch being wrong about them for the 8,325th time.

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(GettyImages.com)

“Brad’s Fallen Out of Love With Angelina,” claims the National Enquirer.

Yet again, the headline could read, “Enquirer‘s Fallen Out of Touch With Reality.”

The tab’s newest clunker purports that Brad Pitt has “stunned” Angelina Jolie with a revelation that he no longer loves her, and is on the verge of ending their relationship.

An Enquirer insider says Pitt’s “finally reached his limit,” informing her that “her behavior has finally worn him down, and at this stage, he simply doesn’t love her anymore.”

Wow! What kind of “behavior”?

The couple’s been “locking horns for months,” reports the tabloid, with Jolie complaining about issues ranging from career moves to parenting to Pitt’s relationship with ex Jennifer Aniston.

Pitt’s finally “fed up with the non-stop friction,” says the Enquirer, whose source claims he’s reached the “breaking point.”

Interesting.

But wait, didn’t Pitt and Jolie decide just last month to buy a home together on the island of Santorini, according to… the Enquirer? Hmm. Doesn’t really sound like a couple at the “breaking point.”

It sounds more like a publication that has zero insight into their relationship, and makes up rumors on the fly.

After all, as further “evidence” that Brangelina is on the brink, the Enquirer notes that “both were spotted out without each other recently in Los Angeles.”

Oh no, it must be over because Pitt was spotted leaving a cafe with a male buddy, and Jolie was seen eating lunch with a female friend.

[Eyes roll]

If you think the Enquirer appears desperate, it’s because it is.

A source close to the couple tells Gossip Cop there is absolutely no truth to the claim that Pitt’s “fallen out of love” with Jolie or that the relationship is “hanging by a thread.”

That last phrase, however, could describe the Enquirer‘s reporting.

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(GettyImages.com)

Is President Obama going to turn the White House over… to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?

He just might, according to preposterous rumors floated by Showbiz Spy and others.

(Hey, we can’t even make this stuff up.)

The site picks up a “world exclusive” from discredited Brangelina biographer Ian Halperin that claims Pitt “is planning to leave Hollywood to embark on a full political career.”

“There’s not much left for him to do in Hollywood,” one of Pitt’s “close associates” supposedly tells Halperin. “Brad feels there’s a lot more for him to do in politics, especially considering the rough years the world has experienced recently.”

And what are his specific plans?

A Jolie “friend” claims Pitt “will run for Senate and if all goes well will mount a bid to become President in 2016.”

Ohhh-kay.

According to the source, one of Pitt’s first presidential actions to revive the economy would be to legalize marijuana. “He’s obsessed with legalizin (sic) pot,” Halperin’s “source” says. “He believes it would be the biggest moneymaker since the Internet.”

If making up stories means making money, that could be true.

However, a source close to Pitt assures Gossip Cop the alleged Commander in Chief aspirations are bunk.

Sorry, but this rumor goes up in smoke.

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(Star)

“Angie 3 Months Pregnant!” declares Star magazine.

According to the tab, “It’s lucky baby No. 7 for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!”

No, lucky would be the Star getting a story like this right.

The magazine quotes “a family insider” as saying, “She’s about three months along,” and that “Angie has wanted to get pregnant since before she left for Italy in February.”

Another friend says, “Her body was telling her something was different even before she took the test that confirmed it.”

Funny, because Gossip Cop‘s gut is “telling us something” about Star‘s “reporting.”

So what’s the evidence that Jolie is with child?

“She’s been really pale and tired lately,” reveals the friend.

Really? A woman with six children and a packed production schedule is tired? Why even bother with a pregnancy test?

Also, she requested grape juice rather than real wine while filming a scene for The Tourist with Johnny Depp.

She doesn’t throw back booze on set? What color should we paint the nursery?

What’s more, Jolie is supposedly sporting “an obvious bump.”

Um, looking at the photo of the impossibly svelte, tightly-clothed Jolie Star inexplicably chose to illustrate its pregnancy story, we’re left to believe the mag doesn’t know what a “bump” is.

The story goes on to mention specific dialogue between Jolie and Pitt from when she “broke the big news” and the couple’s requirements for the new nanny they’re already looking to hire.

Which would be fascinating… if it were at all true.

What is fascinating, however, is that four months ago, almost to the day, Star magazine ran a similar piece that Jolie was… pregnant.

That article also quoted a “family insider” — maybe the same one?

As firm “proof,” the December article noted that Jolie was “constantly laughing and really chatty” at an event, the way Star claimed she was when previously pregnant.

The only pattern Gossip Cop sees is Star announcing Jolie is pregnant when she’s not.

Not that we believed this nonsense for a moment, but a source assures Gossip Cop there is absolutely no truth to it. Additionally, a rep for Jolie denied the claim to People.com.

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(In Touch Weekly)

In a piece about Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt allegedly having secret hook-ups, In Touch, once again, manages to a find a source who sees things no one else does.

According to a cover story titled, “Jen & Brad Caught Kissing,” a former bodyguard for Angelina Jolie and Pitt claims ever “since Brad and his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston reconnected at the 2009 Academy Awards, they have hooked up four times — three times in LA and once in New York — and even recently shared a passionate kiss.”

Really?

The tab reports Pitt and Aniston “arranged a secret meeting” in Beverly Hills on December 9.

“At 3:30p.m.,” writes the magazine, “Jen pulled up to the location in her Bentley, and Brad arrived on his motorcycle. After Brad climbed into Jen’s passenger seat, ‘They were very cozy, clearly embracing,’ Bill reveals for the first time. ‘Several times, Brad and Jen were hugging and kissing.’”

Anyone else find it strange that not one paparazzi has seen any of these alleged rendezvouses, though both stars are hounded everywhere they go?

In Touch also claims that after the December 9 encounter, Pitt was overheard saying, “It was great. I needed that, Charlie.”

“Charlie,” says the tabloid, is Pitt’s code name for Aniston, so that they won’t get caught when communicating via “phone calls, e-mails and texts,” which the mag says is fairly often, even “while [Pitt is] on the couch playing with the kids.”

Gossip Cop has put up for months with In Touch‘s claims that there’s something secretly brewing between the ex-spouses.

In October, there was “Running Back to Jen.” (Didn’t happen)

In November, there was “Yes, They’ll Reunite.” (Didn’t happen)

We’ve looked into these stories, and guess what? Still not happening.

A rep for Aniston assured Gossip Cop, “There were no secret rendevous or texts. Jennifer never heard of the secret name Charlie. It is all made up.”

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(HollywoodLife.com)

In a piece teased (with a typo), “Rdiculous Pic Of The Day! Madonna Pumping Water In Diaper Pants,” not only does HollywoodLife misspell the word “ridiculous,” but the site  also ridiculously misses the point.

“Madonna, You’re NOT At A Fashion Show! Take A Cue From The Missionary Masters, Brad & Angelina!” Hollywood scolds the singer while comparing her charity “style” to Brangelina’s.

Addressing Madonna, HollywoodLife says, “People would take you a lot more seriously as a philanthropist if you dressed the part! … you look so silly pumping that water in your plaid diaper pants, combat boots and scarf.”

Seriously?!

HollywoodLife is actually criticizing Madonna, who has pumped millions of dollars of her own money into Malawi, because the site doesn’t like the style of clothes she chose while pumping a well in the impoverished nation?!

Instead, suggests HollywoodLife, Madonna should try Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s “glammed-down style,” and notes, “Angie dresses down in a simple black dress underneath a black coat, while Brad looks even more easy-going in a white shirt and relaxed pair of jeans.”

Seriously?!

Does Brangelina’s “glammed-down style” improve the lives of more people?

Again, the site misses the main point: Madonna is in Malawi for the next week doing CHARITY.

And no one, except for the clueless crew at HollywoodLife, cares how she accessorizes when helping people in need.

It’s not about clothing choices. It’s about charity.

Today Madonna visited the Millennium Village, a United Nations initiative in Malawi, and tomorrow she’ll lay the first brick of her $15 million Raising Malawi Academy for Girls, which will open next year.

That’s the point.

Seriously. 

And the only ones who “look so silly” are the people at HollywoodLife.

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(In Touch Weekly)

Chalk it up to desperation.

In Touch Weekly, wrong SO many times about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, is now so frantic to find signs of trouble… it’s decided to invent some.

First, a quick recap of the stubborn misreporting that’s led to In Touch‘s “creativity”:

Thirteen months ago, the tab claimed Jolie and Pitt were on the verge of breaking up. Wrong.

Last fall the two were reportedly “living separate lives.” Wrong again.

Then Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were supposedly set to “reunite.” We’re still waiting.

Over the holidays, Jolie’s relationship with Pitt’s family allegedly reached the “breaking point.” Nope.

Now it seems In Touch has changed its approach.

The mag decides this week to portray Jolie as an erratic, demanding monster whose staff lives in fear and whose children call her “The Dragon.”

The lengthy cover story touches on a number of issues, but the one that caught Gossip Cop‘s eye is a sidebar alleging that Jolie is, contrary to her image as a caring family woman, actually a hands-off mother who “refuses to deal with [the kids] herself — especially if they’re unruly.”

To illustrate its point, In Touch shows a series of three photos in which Jolie (supposedly) poses uncomfortably with daughter Vivienne on a Venice balcony before handing her to a nanny as soon as the tyke cries.

(In Touch Weekly)

And if you looked at only the three shots the mag provides — and in the sequence they’re provided — you might reach a similar conclusion.

But we have video.

And the video shows Jolie holding Vivienne through a variety of moods, smiling and laughing frequently, and kissing her head when she pouts. She didn’t run from the balcony and leave her daughter behind as soon as her mood changed, as the tab claims.

Gossip Cop sees no reason to judge Jolie harshly for what looks like a perfectly lovely moment with her daughter.

But we will judge In Touch for the tab’s manipulative use of photographs.

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(GettyImages.com)

“Brangelina staging family photos,” reads the headline of a piece in the New York Post, which goes on to claim, “Those happy family photo ops in Venice are being staged ‘like a military operation’ to quash reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting.”

For background, Pitt, Jolie, and their kids are in Venice, where she’s shooting “The Tourist” with Johnny Depp.

The Post article then quotes a so-called source saying, “They’re making a point of being seen in public as a happy family unit.”

A few things…

First, Gossip Cop checked into this, and we’re told the photos were NOT staged. “If you’ve ever been to Venice,” said our source, “you’d know because of the canals, it’s not like Los Angeles where you can just pull away in an unmarked car and not get photographed.

Our insider also noted they “have no need to pretend.”

Good point.

Gossip Cop would also like to add the following: When there are shots of Pitt alone – on his motorcycle, for example – stories spread that he wants time away from Jolie and the family. But when he’s pictured with Jolie and the kids, people then claim it’s just for show.

Not only are these portrayals unfair, but they are also inaccurate.

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(HollywoodLife.com)

“Aww! Brad & Angelina Took Their Brood Out For A Valentine’s Day Dinner!” gushes the headline of a HollywoodLife story that goes on to report, “Angelina Jolie took a trip down memory lane Feb. 14 as she and Brad Pitt took Maddox, 9, Pax, 6, and Zahara, 5, to Benihana for a special Valentine’s Day dinner.”

They really spent “Valentine’s Day” at Benihana’s in L.A.?!

Wrong.

While it’s true the couple and their kids – minus Shiloh, Vivienne and Knox – had a dinner at Benihana’s, it was TWO full days before Valentine’s Day, not “Feb. 14,” as inaccurately reported by HollywoodLife.

What’s scary, though, is HollywoodLife’s Perez-like style of cutting and pasting info, and then adding an incorrect twist to it.

HollywoodLife took its story from Life & Style, which noted Brangelina “took their three eldest children for a Valentine’s Day eve dinner at the Benihana restaurant.”

Not Valentine’s Day. Not “Feb. 14,” as stated by HollywoodLife, but rather Valentine’s “eve.”

Life & Style and HollywoodLife are a little like the blind leading the blind, because it wasn’t Valentine’s Day “eve” either. It was two days before Valentine’s Day, meaning a regular Friday night.

For the record, Pitt, Jolie, and their kids spent Valentine’s Day at home.

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(GettyImages.com)

When it comes to hammering a square peg through a round hole, no one does it with Star magazine‘s tireless creativity.

(If only the tab excelled in accuracy.)

The “biggest show” at Super Bowl XLIV “was in the stands,” Star declares, “and it involved Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!”

“Angelina was all over Brad,” the mag’s “eyewitness” reports.

OK. So far, so good. The couple was indeed affectionate, as photographs everywhere demonstrated.

But wait, Star warns. It wasn’t real affection. Instead, according to the tabloid, it’s all an act. Jolie “knew [the Super Bowl] was the perfect opportunity to downplay the rumors of her splitting from Brad,” an “insider” tells Star, adding that while Pitt “is miserable about what they’ve become as a couple, he’s going along with the charade — for now.”

But rather than employing actual facts, the mag trots out a body-language expert to “explain” what’s really going on in the couple’s lives. The expert observes that with public displays of affection the stars “are trying to show that they’re in sync [and] happy… but to me this feels contrived and exaggerated.”

Hmm. “Charade”… “contrived”… “exaggerated”… yup, all terms Star knows well.

After all, it’s the same magazine that recently illustrated a bogus Brangelina “Fight To End All Fights!” cover exclusive with outrageously misleading photographs of a downcast Pitt (at a film festival months earlier) and a sobbing Jolie (during a World Refugee Day event six years earlier).

Gossip Cop wants to point out just how ridiculous this has become.

When there’s no evidence of trouble with the couple, Star uses old photographs to deceive readers into thinking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are warring.

When there IS evidence of happiness, Star tells readers not to believe their eyes, because it’s “All for Show!”

If anyone is playing games, it’s the tab.

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(GettyImages.com)

After cheering on the New Orleans Saints at the Super Bowl in Miami, Angelina Jolie traveled to the Dominican Republic, where she spent time yesterday with hospitalized victims of the Haiti earthquake. 

Later today, Jolie, a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, will head to Haiti to meet with those who affected by the earthquake.

In addition to her work in the field, Jolie and Brad Pitt have already donated $1 million to Doctors Without Borders to help with the relief effort in Haiti.

Gossip Cop will update when more details emerge about her charitable work with those on the devastated island nation.

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(GettyImages.com)

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have initiated legal proceedings against News of the World, which wrongly claimed last month that the couple was set to split.

The paper’s bombshell story on January 24 purported to have details about Pitt and Jolie agreeing to divide their assets and make custody arrangements for the children, setting off an avalanche of new speculation that the high-profile Hollywood relationship was coming to an end. The report went so far as to say Pitt and Jolie had visited with a divorce attorney, had already signed an agreement, and that a breakup was imminent.

As Gossip Cop reported immediately after the News of the World-fueled breakup rumors exploded, sources told us the story was not true.

Today’s news corroborates our reporting.

A lawyer for the couple, Keith Schilling, called the “widely republished” allegations in News of the World “false and intrusive.” Pitt and Jolie have requested a retraction. The attorney’s statement also notes that Sorrell Trope, identified widely as the divorce lawyer advising the couple, has never even met them.

It’s looking more and more like media outlets acted recklessly when reprinting the News of the World‘s Brangelina reporting last month. Gossip Cop hopes they’re just as quick to spread a retraction.

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(GettyImages.com)

Amid persistent (wrong) rumors that their relationship is in trouble and nearing an end, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attended last night’s Super Bowl in Miami… together and very happily.

With son Maddox decked out in New Orleans Saints gear, Pitt and Jolie smiled, laughed, hugged, greeted fans, and cheered as the team won its first NFL championship, beating the Indianapolis Colts 31-17.

Pitt and Jolie own a home in New Orleans.

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(OK! magazine)

Refusing to leave well enough alone, OK! Magazine continues the recent barrage of “bullsplit” Brangelina buzz in a big way, declaring in a cover story that Brad Pitt still loves ex-wife Jennifer Aniston and is only staying with Angelina Jolie for the kids.

Ugh.

As Gossip Cop reported, Pitt and Jolie were together, laughing and happy at the Directors Guild of America Awards. To OK!, though, the couple’s good cheer and displays of affection were just an act. They “appeared to be the very picture of romantic bliss,” the weekly claims, but it was all “a well-orchestrated illusion.”

How does OK! know?

Brangelina biographer Ian Halperin, who for months has sold books on the faulty premise that Pitt and Jolie are splitting, insists the two are “leading 100 percent separate lives.”

What’s more, according to a so-called “source” for the mag, Pitt thinks leaving Aniston was a “terrible mistake” and has told his friends, “I’m still in love with Jen.” OK! then trots out as an example of his continued infatuation the “warm conversation” Pitt and Aniston shared at the Hope For Haiti Now telethon… a conversation that never took place, as Gossip Cop reported.

But this fictional “reunion” “only doused more kerosene on Brad’s already burning torch,” reports the mag. He would “do anything to have his old life back,” but won’t “turn his back” on the children he has with Jolie, says their “source.” Aniston, meanwhile, might not take Pitt back, because even if she “hasn’t quite moved on” (and the mag suggests that she has, to Gerard Butler), she’s “no longer playing the role of wounded victim” and happy not to have the drama Pitt has in his life.

Uh huh.

Let’s review.

OK! says Pitt is desperate to leave Jolie, but won’t because of the kids, and that Aniston probably won’t take him back, anyway. All of which is a very convenient “out” for the magazine should Pitt not, you know, leave his relationship for his ex-wife.

The evidence offered for Pitt and Aniston “spending more time” together? A conversation that never happened, and that would have been extraordinarily public even if it had.

And the explanation for what everyone in the world did see, Pitt and Jolie being perfectly happy together at an awards show? Well OK! says that was all an act.

Gossip Cop wonders how long the tabloids can tie themselves into knots trying to prove the “bullsplit” Brangelina stories before they pull a muscle.

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