Bachelor Sean Lowe Tells Andi Dorfman: Josh Murray Is NOT Your Soul Mate
By Shari Weiss | 7:46 pm, July 29th, 2014
The former “Bachelor” star made the declaration on Tuesday on his Patheos blog, arguing that the reigning “Bachelorette” needs to view her relationship a bit differently.
Lowe, who is now married to his “winner” Catherine Giudici, writes, “What Andi and Josh don’t know is that they are just now embarking on the hard part.”
“Falling in love while globetrotting the world was the easy part. Learning how to love someone you’ve spent a collective 20 hours with is the really hard part,” says the former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant.
Lowe says if he could advise Dorfman and Murray, he’d want them to know that “the post-show/pre-marriage time frame will be one of the most challenging.”
“But mainly, I’d tell them not to elevate the other to the level of ‘soul mate,” he continues. “It sets everyone up for unrealistic expectations and emphasizes the romance over the hard work of building a relationship.”
To back up his statements, Lowe provides a bittersweet anecdote from his grandfather making a marriage work, and cites a recent study about people who view their spouse as a “soul mate” being less happy than those who see a “partner on a journey.”
Lowe goes on, “I wonder what the researchers who conducted the ‘soul mate’ versus ‘partners on a journey’ study would do with ‘The Bachelor?’”
“On one hand, I’m not sure if it’s possible to meet and get engaged on the show without overly romanticizing each other,” says Lowe. “On the other, have you ever heard people use the word ‘journey’ more to describe a relationship?”
All that said, Lowe stresses he’s “excited” for Dorfman and Murray, and wishes them congratulations.
He concludes, “[I] hope this time without the lights and cameras will bring them ever closer to the time when the minister pronounces them — not ‘soul mates’ – but ‘husband’ and ‘wife.’
Tell Us: What do you think of “soul mates,” and do you believe it’s possible to find one via shows like “The Bachelor”?