Russell Crowe Plays Vagina-Obsessed German Professor On ‘SNL’ – WATCH VIDEO

Truth rating: 10
Russell Crowe SNL

By Michael Lewittes


Russell Crowe SNL


Russell Crowe played a vagina-obsessed German professor in a mock dating game show on “SNL.” While the two other contestants gave standard responses to a bachelorette’s questions on “Match Finders,” all of Crowe’s character’s answers were highly sexual. Watch the “Saturday Night Live” video below.

After the audience was introduced to a 33-year-old single woman named Lisa G., we meet Todd, an Instagram model with a glass eye; Jason who works at Best Buy; and Benedict, a pipe-smoking man who described himself as “a smart professor from Germany.” He notes, “I was raised in a house full of women, so as you can imagine, I know my way around a woman’s body.”

After saying she likes to be “pampered,” the first question Lisa G. posed to the three contestants was what they would do on a date with her. The glass eye guy said he’d get her a massage, take her out to dinner, and if all went well, they’d have breakfast together the next morning. The Best Buy employee told the bachelorette he would make her dinner at home and watch a movie, but chances are they wouldn’t be watching the film. And the Crowe’s German professor promised, “First, I would massage your labia majora, and then I would mount a subtle yet focused campaign on your clitoris.”

In the next round, the bachelorette asked the three competing men to “tell me something I don’t know.” Todd, the man with the glass eye, offered he’s a “pretty good dancer” Meanwhile, Crowe’s professor said, “You wouldn’t guess it by looking at it, but the human vagina has three distinct holes.”

Next, Lisa G. asked Benedict, the German professor, “What would you do to make me feel special,” prompting the game show’s host to warn the bachelorette that she had “just walk[ed] into traffic.” The professor began to answer that he would “lay down a beach towel on top of the sheets, so you wouldn’t feel self-conscious,” but before he could finish talking, the host pressed a buzzer to drown out the rest of his answer.

At the end of the game, the three bachelors were asked to reveal their “biggest fear.” The glass eye guy said he was afraid of a bee in his hat, while the Best Buy employee admitted he feared ghosts. And the German professor blurted he was scared of “getting throat cancer from cunnilingus.” He went on to tell everyone with various slang words for “eating” and “vagina” that “if I chow down on one more little donut, I’ll end up like Michael Douglas.”

And with that Lisa G. had to pick the one man with whom she wanted to go out on a date. Check out the video below in which Russell Crowe played a vagina-obsessed German professor on the “Saturday Night Live” dating game show “Match Finders.”

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