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Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Tale “Tortures” Logic

Truth rating: 0

By Daniel Gates


Since happiness and good cheer are boring, Us Weekly creates a bizarre alternate reality where Kristen Stewart “tortures” Robert Pattinson.


See, Robsten’s “love may be discreet, but their fights sure aren’t,” explains the magazine that once asked its readers to believe that Jennifer Aniston uses Architectural Digest as a weapon against ex-husband Brad Pitt.

Apparently, Stewart and Pattinson “had a spat on set” during Eclipse reshoots, sniping at each other “in full view of cast and crew.”

Uh-huh. Would this be the same “fight” about Pattinson being “late”? The one that never happened?

It’s all part of what the mag describes as a “stormy romance” in which Stewart “snaps” at Pattinson in public and, says a “source,” refuses to see them as “boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Of course, Us Weekly has no way of demonstrating what it claims.

So instead, it illustrates its “torture” theory by mentioning how Stewart and Pattinson arrived at the recent Oprah taping separately and then walked through the airport separately before “ducking into the private American Airlines Admirals Club together.”

Um, kinda sounds like two high-profile people who value their privacy.

Where do we sign up for this “torture”?

Weirdly, the tab seems to be arguing that Kristen Stewart is barely invested in a relationship… she’s desperately trying to hide.

And Kristen Stewart is desperately trying to hide a relationship, how? By feuding loudly in public?

How exactly does Stewart’s alleged “obsession with cloak-and-dagger secrecy,” as the mag calls it, reconcile with her penchant for public brawls?

It doesn’t.

None of this makes sense.

Gossip Cop hopes Us Weekly finds more actual news to report next week.

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