Ray Rice: “I See Why People Commit Suicide”
Ray Rice reveals in a new interview that he had suicidal thoughts during his domestic violence scandal. The disgraced NFL star’s first extensive comments since last year’s controversy were given to the Baltimore Sun; Rice tells the newspaper that he was devastated after video surfaced showing him punching now-wife Janay in a casino elevator, destroying his image and career.
“The big picture of it all, being the person that I am, I really felt horrible,” says Rice. “You almost want to punish yourself. I know I’m never going to win the battle of public opinion. Honestly, I almost felt like at one point that it wasn’t worth living. I see why people commit suicide.”
He continues, “It hurt that bad. I was low, real low. It hurt that bad because you worked your whole life to do all the right things and then you’re the world’s most hated person. It was really tough. My daughter, oh Lord, I grew up without a father, there’s no way I could check out on my own family.”
Rice later explains, “It’s tough, I realize that’s a battle I’m going to have to face for the rest of my life. Time does heal everything, but I don’t think people are going to forget this. I want people to not forget about the incident, but I want people to see there’s a human being on the other side. This is not a monster, a guy who’s a repeat offender. I’m not the guy they stereotype me to be. I’m not excusing what I did.”
How will the athlete one day explain what happened to his young daughter? “I just want to tell her that her father made a huge mistake and there are certain things that aren’t acceptable,” Rice tells the outlet. “I want to basically make my daughter understand the severity of these things.”
Rice is hoping to sign on with a new team and prove he can still play. “I don’t want my career to be defined by this one moment,” he says. “I’ve been smart with money and the NFL is a great-paying game, but I really want to get back out there for my pride and to be able to leave the game with dignity. I don’t ever want to feel exiled out because I wasn’t that guy…. I know I’m not ready to call it quits yet.”