Paris Jackson Talks Michael’s Death, Suicide Attempts And Sexual Assault
“They always say, ‘Time heals.’ But it really doesn’t. You just get used to it,” Jackson tells Rolling Stone about coping with the death of her dad, who passed away in 2009 when she was 11-years-old. “I live life with the mentality of ‘OK, I lost the only thing that has ever been important to me.’ So going forward, anything bad that happens can’t be nearly as bad as what happened before. So I can handle it.”
Jackson goes on to express her belief that her dad was murdered, revealing that when he was alive, “He would drop hints about people being out to get him.” She also blames Dr. Conrad Murray, who was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for providing Michael with the drugs that killed him, but thinks more suspicious factors were involved as well. “All arrows point to [murder],” she says. “It sounds like a total conspiracy theory and it sounds like bullsh*t, but all real fans and everybody in the family knows it. It was a setup. It was bullsh*t.”
The 18-year-old, who recently began working as a fashion model, also reveals in her cover story that she was sexually assaulted by a “complete stranger” when she was 14. “I don’t wanna give too many details,” says Jackson, “but it was not a good experience at all, and it was really hard for me, and, at the time, I didn’t tell anybody.” She then tried to kill herself at age 15 by slashing her wrist and swallowing 20 Motrin pills. “It was just self-hatred,” she says. “Low self-esteem, thinking that I couldn’t do anything right, not thinking I was worthy of living anymore.” It was just one of many suicide attempts, which resulted in her enrollment at a therapeutic school in Utah. “It was great for me,” Jackson says. “I’m a completely different person.”
Despite her past struggles, Jackson says she’s now happy, healthy and sober. The teen currently lives at the Jackson family estate, and is in a committed relationship with her drummer boyfriend, Michael Snoddy.