National Enquirer sentences Dr. Phil to death

3 years to live Dr. Phil National Enquirer

5:15 pm, November 4th, 2009

 

The National Enquirer has once again done what it likes to do best: predicting the premature death of a celebrity who is presently alive and well. This time, in a cover piece titled, “Dr. Phil: Only 3 Years to Live!” the supermarket rag has decided to cut the talk show host down in his prime.

Is he gravely ill? What’s wrong?

The Enquirer says he has a “deadly heart problem he’s hiding.”

Well, it couldn’t be that his dad died of heart disease, because he hasn’t hid that at all. It is that? Oh, never mind.

Anyway, the Enquirer has some guy with a Ph.D named Patrick Wanis, who has developed what he calls a “Life & Death Calculator” – based on a person’s emotional, physical, mental, nutritional and spiritual state – and who claims that he can predict a person’s life expectancy.

Enter Dr. Phil.

Wanis says of the 59-year-old talk show host, “I have added up the stressors in Dr. Phil’s life, and unless he adds more balance to it, he may live to only 62.” Wanis goes on to say, “Dr. Phil has the temperament that would most likely choose to ignore the dangers of stress… Such type A personalities have double the risk of coronary heart disease.”

The article adds that Dr. Phil’s family history of heart disease, plus “the tremendous personal and work stresses he’s facing, could doom him to an early grave.”

How very ominous – and ludicrous!

Perhaps the Enquirer forgot that the heart-conscious doctor exercises by playing tennis EVERY day.

Nevertheless, a rep for Dr. Phil told Gossip Cop, “This is classic National Enquirer – taking an ‘expert’ on their payroll to comment on someone he has never met and knows nothing about.”

 

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