Tab Poops on Matt Damon

Truth rating: 0

By Michael Lewittes


According to the National Enquirer, while Scarlett Johansson and Matt Damon playfully wrestled over a water bottle during a break from shooting We Bought a Zoo, “an orangutan who’s co-starring with them suddenly went BANANAS!”

The tab goes on to claim that “the grouchy gorilla, who’s apparently taken quite a monkey-shine to Scarlett since filming began, got jealous and angry when Matt started grabbing at her,” and pelted the Oscar winner with “APE DOO-DOO!”

If the supermarket rag had simply spent as much time fact-checking as it did coming up with primate puns, it wouldn’t have printed this – to borrow a phrase – “poop.”

This monkey business never happened.

In addition to not even having an orangutan in the movie, a rep for the film tells Gossip Cop, “No such event occurred on the set of We Bought A Zoo.”

These type of fabricated stories make us go ape s**t!

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