Lindsay Recap: Lohan Admits to Drinking, Confesses She “Screwed Up” Sobriety
On Sunday’s part five of the “Lindsay” documentary, Lindsay Lohan confessed to drinking and admitted she “screwed up” her sobriety. As Gossip Cop previously reported, during last week’s episode Lohan told the cameras she came “very close” to falling off the wagon, but now she actually had.
With her sober coach Michael Cormier now back in L.A., the star said she was initially “freaked out,” and found herself increasingly relying on life coach A.J. Johnson. “There is a point where you have to cut the cord and be a big girl, and I can do this,” said Lohan.
Much of her time was preoccupied by trying to boost her career, and Lohan contemplated returning to L.A. to take meetings while pushing for a role in the movie Inconceivable. Johnson told the camera, “Lindsay is riddled with fear. Lindsay’s career is a very, very uncomfortable place for her right now,” and that “desperately” wanting to work but being unable to is “prisoning” for her.
Lohan acknowledged that she’s seen as a “risk” to producers and insurers, and noted, “I have to do whatever it takes to stay sober to stay mentally on the right path so I can show up, suit up, to do what I love to do.” After a phone call with a Sony exec, Lohan became emotional, and cried that she’s “frustrated” that her agents won’t put her up for roles or try to “change the conversation” about her.
Eighteen days following the move into her new Manhattan apartment, the starlet was still waiting for furniture to arrive, and decided to sell excess clothes to a consignment shop — before she and mom Dina got distracted by items in the store they wanted to take home for themselves. After giving “only $4,000″ worth of her belongings, Lohan was in the hole for $500 if she wanted to make a trade, and Johnson pointed out that it would be smarter to leave it all and take the thousands in cash, but the advice fell on deaf ears.
Lohan’s furniture and more clothing/accessories finally arrived on a scheduled shooting day, with assistant Matt Harrell and Johnson seemingly doing all the work as the actress slept. The health and wellness coach feared that the arrival of all the stuff would bring her “back to the chaos,” and attempted to create a sense of “normalcy” amid “all this craziness.”
Lohan finally awoke, but texted Harrell before she left her room that she wanted the camera crew to leave the apartment, shocking director Amy Rice. Johnson later told the production they could return, and she explained that Lohan felt “overwhelmed,” and wanted all of the new arrivals except for furniture to go back on the truck to make it more manageable.
Lohan finally emerged to sort through the boxes, and apologized to Harrell for “freaking out” on him behind closed doors, and enlisted pal Liam, who was staying with her, to also help with the organizing. The star became upset when she realized furniture was missing, along with her bedding. Three days later, Lohan began planning her trip to L.A., where she would stay with Johnson, and was caught off guard when Johnson accused her of drinking.
Johnson claimed Lohan’s mom said she was drinking, and that she further found a bottle of wine in her apartment. “If I were drinking, that’s something I would talk to Michael about and go to a meeting,” Lohan insisted, saying she did go to a meeting, but had not done any drinking. She further told Johnson that she was “offended” by the line of questioning, especially because she felt that the issue should’ve first been discussed off-camera, as they do other issues relating to her recovery.
Lohan then went to L.A. for seven days — and never contacted Johnson once. In response to tabloid reports that she drank during the trip, Lohan said in a confessional, “I don’t give it any life because there’s no truth it.” But Lohan then admitted to having one drink — one month prior — and blamed it on the relationship she was in at the time, saying she didn’t realize how hard it would be to have a partner who drank in front of her.
Lohan said she struggled with “guilt” since then, but finally decided to come clean to show how she’s learned from it. It took me a bit to be like, ‘Why am I holding this in? F*ck it. I screwed up. I screwed up, and that’s okay. But now what can I do so it doesn’t happen again?'” she explained.
Eighty-seven days after rehab, Lohan met with Johnson for the first time since the confrontation, and Johnson called her out for never contacting her in L.A. and even canceling meetings with executives. Lohan again felt under attack, and Johnson told the camera, “Lindsay and I are friends, but I feel like there’s no consideration.” The next night, Lohan refused to meet with Johnson on camera, leading to a venting session between Johnson, Harrell and Rice.
“It’s got to a point where Lindsay needs to make a choice, whether she’s really ready to do the work, or she can call me when she is,” Johnson said, adding, “I can’t help someone when they’re not open to receiving. Sometimes it’s better to leave before it gets ugly.” Lohan herself told the camera, “With AJ, what she brought into my life, all in all, what I can say is she was a friend to me when I didn’t have really have any new friends in New York at the time, and she was a guiding light.”
“And I felt like she maybe disrespected me by asking me certain things on camera that were a bit personal,” she went on, saying as she teared up, “Of course it’s jarring when you’ve relapsed and you’re trying to stay sober.”
“But all in all,” added Lohan, “she was a blessing in disguise.”
Next week, Lohan openly returns to the party circuit and hangs out with friends who drink in front of her.