Lindsay Lohan To Oprah: I’m Addicted To Alcohol, “Wanted To Go To Jail” (VIDEO)
“That in the past was a gateway to other things for me,” said Lohan, who confessed she’s done cocaine 10 to 15 times.
The starlet explained, “It was like a party thing. People would have it and I would do it.”
Lohan, who insisted she’s never injected anything other than B12, went on to say taking Adderall was another one of her addictions.
But it’s family trouble that the former child star believes kicked off her issues.
“A lot of stuff went on when I was young with my family and I grew up in a very chaotic home…” she told Oprah. “Unfortunately, I waited too long to face it.”
That chaos became “comfortable” and “normal” to the point where Lohan was “addicted” to it, and struggled living a healthy, calm lifestyle — which in turn led to many legal problems and six trips to rehab.
Lohan, who was talking with Oprah four days after her release late last month, said she didn’t take earlier stints in rehab seriously because she had “resentment” about being there, an outlook that landed her in treatment time and again.
After her first DUI, “You would think in that situation, someone would be like ‘Holy sh*t, I need to check myself,” Lohan said, but as an “addict,” she didn’t have that realization.
“It’s the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again,” she acknowledged.
By 2010, when she was sentenced to 90 days in jail, Lohan had a much different attitude
“I somewhere inside knew and kind of wanted to go to jail,” she confessed to the TV personality, admitting, “just to find some peace and have no choice but to just sit and be.”
Released in just weeks due to jail overcrowding, more trouble followed, but Lohan is convinced her recent 90-day stint in rehab was different than ever before.
“I don’t think in the past I ever fully surrendered to the fact that I just needed to shut up and listen. In this case, I wasn’t fighting at all,” she said.
Reflecting on being tabloid fodder for years, Lohan said she “hates” being the symbol for “child star gone wrong,” noting, “It’s not what I ever aspired to be and it’s not what I want for my life.”
But career success was also partially responsible for Lohan’s problems, with the actress admitting she got paid way “too much” at too young of an age, and ended up “wasting” loads of money.
Lohan, who said she’s her “own worst enemy,” told Oprah she believes “there’s nothing that can stand in my way” if she takes what she’s learned the past few months and lives “in the moment.”
“I have to regain the trust of people and my career… and I fully respect that,” she said.
Lohan, who calls herself a “spiritual person,” says she now has an “appreciation” for what she has in her life, and is “tired” of living the way she has for so many years.
She told the former talk show host, “I’ve lived so many lives in one lifetime as this point, and it’s not interesting me to anymore.”
The Mean Girls star went on to say she has “some serious guardian angels” for not injuring herself or anyone else during her wildest of times.
As for her current relationship with her controversial parents, Lohan — who teared up at various points, including talking about her family — said “nobody’s perfect,” and doesn’t believe her family ever exploited her, at least not “intentionally.”
“I hate what a bad rap people give my parents, because they’re just parents, really, at the end of the day,” she said, adding, “I don’t blame anyone for my mistakes.”
Rattling off a list of well-known misdoings, Lohan said, “I did that and I’m not proud of it, and all I can do is keep doing what I’m doing now.”
She vowed to not put herself in certain situations — noting that it’s “open season” for people to judge her if she does — and expressed frustration that it’s “boring” to others if she stays on her path of recovery.
But, Lohan said, that’s exactly what she plans to do.
“I feel whole again,” expressed Lohan, who said she’s off Adderall and all other drugs. “I have such a desire to want to keep this feeling and stay this way, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
A docu-series about Lohan rebuilding her career and staying sober will air on OWN next year.
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