Lindsay Lohan Reveals 5-Year Plan: I Want To “Fall In Love And Have A Family”
Lindsay Lohan opens up about her shortcomings and reveals her five-year plan in a new interview.
Reflecting on her troublesome past as she prepares to make her stage debut in Speed-the-plow, the actress confesses, “Living a life in the public eye – that, I could have taken more responsibility for.” She continues, “But I didn’t know how. Honestly, I didn’t know how. I didn’t realize it – I’ve never Googled myself, I don’t understand it.”
Lohan says that as a child, she envisioned appearing in magazines like Britney Spears. “And then once I started to have it, I was like: Oh, f*ck. I can’t do anything,” she explains.
The star turned inward — and to drugs and alcohol — leading to a very isolated and depressing existence. Lohan tells the Telegraph, “I was kind of hanging on to nothing. I was by myself for a long time.”
“And it was hard to be in LA – I had this beautiful house, and these things, which really don’t, essentially, mean anything. And it was… it was rough for a minute,” she admits.
Lohan, who at one point spent 12 hours a day fulfilling a court-ordered assignment at a morgue, calls the punishment “f’d up and inappropriate.” “Because a lot of other people were meant to do it, and they were like: ‘No, they can’t handle it. Lohan can,'” she says. “It’s different for me than it would be for other people – like, no one would really have to work at the morgue in L.A. and roll a body bag for Whitney Houston.”
It’s unclear if Lohan actually handled Houston’s body — the legendary singer died in February 2012; Lohan’s morgue stint began the previous fall — or if she named the performer off-handedly to make a point. Nevertheless, the movie star says she took the job quite seriously.
“I know it sounds really dark and strange, but I thought it would be a lot worse,” she says. “I kind of regulated a lot of it. I’d tell people: ‘You didn’t fold that sheet properly’, because I’m OCD with folding.” Lohan goes on to explain that her “road blocks” eventually made her realize, “Something needs to change, and I think that’s me.”
The starlet let cameras captures that process earlier this year on the OWN docuseries, “Lindsay,” an experience she now says drove her out of New York City. “After the Oprah show it was kind of hard for me to be in New York. There started to be paparazzi, and I didn’t have that in New York in the beginning,” she says. Lohan continues, “People have had this misconception of me, that I love that attention. And that’s what they’ve made me out to be. But I never wanted that. I accepted it – I didn’t have a choice.”
“Every time I left my house they were at the corner. Every time I went down a side street they were at the corner,” she tells the British paper. “If I tried to lose them they’d chase me and I’d get in an accident. That’s what happens.” The Mean Girls star has resided most of the summer in London, where she’s spent the last week and a half preparing for the upcoming stage run.
In July, outlets falsely claimed Lohan was already causing trouble on set, supposedly coming late for rehearsals and nearly getting fired from the production. Gossip Cop was the first to debunk the stories, as the cast hadn’t even started rehearsing yet, and now that they just did, Lohan says she is determined to be a dedicated and reliable player.
She insists, “I’m there. I’m there early. I’m there early. And the next day I’m up at 7 a.m. And I’m 10 minutes late – 10 minutes late – and I’m like apologizing. I was crying yesterday. I was like, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m 10 minutes late.’ I felt bad.”
Lohan is asked where she sees herself in 20 years, and replies that she “can go with five.” “I want to work for this next year, and then take some time, and hopefully fall in love, and hopefully have a family,” she reveals. The former child star notes, “Now I see all these kids that are living so fast. I think: I’ve been there. I want to hold them, and say: it’s not worth it.”
A repaired image may be in the cards, too. “I like the idea of being able to fight for what I lost, essentially,” says Lohan. “I lost a lot of… I wouldn’t say… I don’t think ‘respect’ is the word… trust from a lot of people. And I don’t mind gaining that back.”
“I’m glad that I’m finding my way,” she adds.