Court-ordered psychological counseling – It is a favorite way of harassing someone in court when the offenses isn’t enough to mandate the punishment the judge would like. It’s used all over the world actually. It doesn’t have to make sense and of course it doesn’t here.

My advice to Lindsay: Get it over with. Just sit with the psychologist and do nothing. You’re not required to listen or interact; you just have to be there. When everything is said and done and the judge can’t touch you anymore, make a spectacle of defying everything that in any way was part of the ‘orders’ from the court. Basically party all night, lots of alcohol and drugs, make the paps shoot it all but make sure there’s nothing truly illegal if the police shows up. Then do an interview where you clearly state that it’s your life and you’re not going to let any celebrity-hating judges change that. State that you do want to focus on your career but the change has to be on your terms and those alone. Say that it just doesn’t concern anybody else if you want to get drunk or if you want to stay sober, and it definitely doesn’t concern a court system that’s already gone out of its way to pile on additional punishment for a simple first-time DUI with no personal injury, just because the offender was a celebrity.

Well, when you get out of a car with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, you’re just waiting for an asskicking marathon from anyone in law enforcement….