DUMBEST STORY OF WEEK: Mag Says Kerry Washington Wed Nnamdi Asomugha Because She Couldn’t Steal Barack Obama
“Chalk one up for Michelle Obama!” declares the tabloid, apparently needing to fill space. “After the first lady (sic) banned ‘Scandal’ star Kerry Washington from the White House due to President Barack Obama’s obsession with her, the sexy beauty settled for another guy.” Um… WHAT?!
The Enquirer’s sources say that’s the “untold story” behind Washington’s recent marriage to San Francisco 49ers player Nnamdi Asomugha. “Kerry finally realized that she didn’t have a chance at Barack and was forced to find someone else,” one “source” tells the tabloid. The Enquirer insider adds, “Now that Kerry has found her own man, Michelle can finally breathe a sigh of relief.” Wow. How insulting to all four people involved.
Washington has politically supported the President, and was appointed to an arts and humanities committee. That’s (obviously) the extent of their relationship. For the Enquirer to pit Michelle Obama against the actress, and then say that Washington had to “settle” for Asomugha because she supposedly couldn’t steal the President of the United States away from his wife — a made-up theory for which there’s absolutely no evidence — is beneath even the supermarket tabloid’s dubious standards.