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Jennifer Lopez Panties Nearly Swiped by Creepy Window Washer?

Truth rating: 0

5:19 pm, August 16th, 2012

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Jennifer Lopez was targeted by a panty-crazed window washer, claims the National Enquirer.

You read that correctly.

According to the tabloid, a window washer at the singer’s mansion in California was recently apprehended after indulging his “lusty urge to snag an irresistibly sexy souvenir — J. Lo’s panties!”

The mag says the worker was allegedly alone in Lopez’s bedroom to “polish her panes” when he “suddenly spotted a pair of the star’s panties tossed casually on a settee… and it knocked him for a loop!”

An Enquirer “source” explains, “Like a man in a trance, he touched the silky undies, looked around furtively — then started stuffing them in his pocket!”

Wow, we had no idea the tab was branching out into creepy erotica.

In any case, just as the supposed thief was about to make his escape, J. Lo’s maid allegedly entered, discovered the pocketed panties, took them “and ran screaming from the room!”

Stop.

How would the tab know that the window washer was “in a trance” and “looked around furtively” if the maid entered after that?

“When Jennifer heard what had happened, she was furious,” says the Enquirer’s source. “She immediately had the guy thrown out — and banned from the premises forever!”

We’re sure Lopez would have been upset — and rightfully so — were this wild story the least bit true.

One more question: Why would the singer’s panties have been “tossed casually on a settee” — when she was away on tour?

Oops.

As entertaining as the madcap adventures of a dirty-minded window washer sound… none of this ever happened at Lopez’s house.

The Enquirer made it up out of whole cloth.

A rep for Lopez also assures Gossip Cop it “didn’t happen,” and that the story is “inaccurate.”

Hey, we’ll give the Enquirer some creativity points on this one — but as far as journalism goes, it’s another massive fail.

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