Jennifer Lopez in Cosmo: “I’m Not a Mistake – I Work My A** Off”
Jennifer Lopez opens up in the October 2013 issue of Cosmopolitan about her relationship with Casper Smart, her regrets about performing for the president of Turkmenistan, and how she got past her insecurities over singing. The newly reinstated “American Idol” judge admits that her controversial appearance at a lavish celebration for totalitarian leader Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov earlier this year was a misstep.
“I know that being seen as a role model means taking responsibility for all my actions. I am human, and of course, sometimes I make mistakes,” she tells Cosmopolitan. “But I promise that when I fall, I get back up. When I am wrong, I will learn the lesson and move on to face other challenges. For me, that’s what creating your own life is. Doing your best work while being your best self.” Lopez also confesses to feeling insecure, even after achieving enormous fame. She explains, “It was after I had kids to be honest… The biggest insecurity I had was my singing. Even though I had sold 70 million records, there was this feeling like, I’m not good at this.”
“And while I was married to Marc [Anthony], he helped me get over it. He kept telling me, ‘You’re the only one holding yourself back from reaching your full potential as a singer. You have to let go’… I was always so insecure and just kind of going along,” says Lopez.
The performer adds, “Then I grew, little by little, and realized, wait a minute, this is not a fluke. I’m not a mistake – I work my a** off. And I know what I’m doing.” Lopez eventually moved on from Anthony to Beau “Casper” Smart, and seems thrilled with her relationship. “For me, it’s about having a great partner to walk this life with,” she explains. “I have my own high standards for what I want in a partner and how I want to be treated. I bring a lot to the table. I’m not talking about material things but what I have to offer as a person – love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship.”
Lopez adds, “It’s funny, early on with Beau, I remember telling him how I have a real button on being ignored. And he was like, ‘Listen, if somebody ignores you, then forget them. They don’t deserve to have your attention.’ But it’s funny. Sometimes when we don’t get it, we try to get it in an negative way, you know?”