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David Letterman Jokes About Jihadist Death Threats [VIDEO]

5:04 pm, August 22nd, 2011

EXCLUSIVE

(GettyImages.com)

David Letterman isn’t backing down from the jihadist threats against him.

In fact, he devotes his entire monologue and Top Ten list on tonight’s “Late Show” to the subject.

Gossip Cop has a preview of some of the monologue jokes here:

- “Thank you very much for being here tonight. We have great audiences night in and night out, but tonight especially, it means a lot to me. Tonight, you people are more, to me, honestly, more than an audience … you’re more like a human shield.”

- “I’m so sorry, I’m a little late coming out. Backstage, I was talking to the guy from CBS. We were going through the CBS life insurance policy to see if I was covered for Jihad.”

- “You’re not going to believe what happened. A guy, a radical extremist threatened to cut my tongue out. I wish I had a nickel for every time a guy has threatened …I think the first time was during the Academy Awards.”

- “I have a fatwa on me.  And they say the guy that issued the fatwa is an Internet jihadist. Internet jihadist, and I said, ‘Well, heck, who says Obama isn’t creating jobs?’”

- “And so now, State Department authorities are looking into this. They’re not taking this lightly. They’re looking into it. They’re questioning, they’re interrogating, there’s an electronic trail – but everybody knows it’s Leno.”

And from “Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through My Mind After Hearing About The Threat”:

- “Why is the staff in such a good mood?”

- “How can someone be so angry at a time when Kim Kardashian is so happy?”

- “Some people get Emmy nominations; some people get death threats.”

See video below for more of Letterman’s jihadist death threat jokes.

Tonight is the first time Letterman has taped a new program since death threats against him were posted on Shumukh-al-Islam, which frequently carries messages from Al Qaeda and its supporters.

A user identified as Umar al-Basrawi took offense to Letterman making light of the death of Ilyas Kashmiri, an Al Qaeda operative who was taken out by air strike.

While discussing Kashmiri’s killing on his show, Letterman drew his hand across his neck.

The al-Basrawi message reads, “Is there not amongst you a Sayyid Nosair al-Masri (may Allah release him) to cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever,” apparently in admiration for a man tied to the 1990 murder of an Israeli politician and the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.

“[Letterman] showed his evil nature and deep hatred for Islam and Muslims… We ask Allah to paralyze his tongue and grant the sincere monotheists his neck.”

Letterman, who is not Jewish, apparently has no plans to hold his tongue.

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  • http://twitter.com/FamousZee MissZee

    letterman, you have guts doing this…if there is another attack on this city because you are using the hit against you as a punch line, i will be sooo angry at you

  • Xenobyte

    Letterman is so doing the right thing here! The best defense is an offense according to ancient wisdom.

    I do wish he had gone much more directly in the flesh of the brainless moron that calls himself Umar al-Basrawi and those stupid enough to think Letterman did something wrong.

    Now, a few jokes as I would have responded…

    “Have you heard that the infantile jihadists have taken to the Internet these days? I guess their moms took away their matches for playing with fire.”

    “So the feeble-minded jihadists are typing their death threats now… I guess their doctors took away the sharp objects so the usual video featuring blood-dripping swords were out of the question.”

    “Kinda surprised the jihadists are on the Internet now. After all, it’s obvious that they can’t read… at least not what’s in their own holy book.”

    Oh, and may Sayyid Nosair al-Masri rot in Hell where he belongs. Actually Hell is too good for him. May he rot in a place so evil, so unimaginable unbearable, that Hell is like Heaven in comparison. And Umar, if you like him so much, feel free to join him… because you deserve it.

  • Brenda

    Don’t give up your day job.

  • jae

    And this is why I love Dave. He’s the best.

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