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Cynthia Nixon Says She’s Gay by “Choice,” Sparks Controversy

Christine Marinoni Cynthia Nixon Danny Mozes

7:50 pm, January 27th, 2012

(GettyImages.com)

Cynthia Nixon is stirring controversy by claiming she chose to be gay.

The actress, best known for the “Sex and the City” TV series and movies, faces criticism from gay rights groups after a recent New York Times profile in which she flatly says that, for her, homosexuality “is a choice.”

Nixon is engaged to a woman, Christine Marinoni, with whom she has a child.

She previously spent 15 years with the father of her first two children, Danny Mozes.

In the Times piece, Nixon talks about the backlash she encountered when she went from a long-term heterosexual relationship to her current partnership.

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice,” says Nixon, who adds, “And for me, it is a choice.”

She continues, “I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”

Many gay rights organizations have taken issue with Nixon’s statements, arguing that by calling her sexuality a “choice,” the actress undermines the community’s characterization of homosexuality as an inherent genetic trait.

“Cynthia did not put adequate thought into the ramifications of her words,” Truth Wins Out founder Wayne Besen told the Associated Press, explaining, “When people say it’s a choice, they are green-lighting an enormous amount of abuse because if it’s a choice, people will try to influence and guide young people to what they perceive as the right choice.”

Other critics have said that she should label herself as a “bisexual” rather than gay.

In the Times profile, Nixon is adamant about her position.

“I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate?” she asks.

She continues, “It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate.”

What do you think of Nixon’s statements and the ensuing controversy?

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http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YCRADRJGFESBGETLFUJCE6MOIM R

She is one stupid woman.
Sindee

It is a choice. You weren’t born gay. Im just giving my opinion. I have nothing against gay people. I have gay people in my family and friends that are gay and I love them dearly.
Anonymous

Bisexuals have a choice I suppose.
http://www.facebook.com/laquitathodge Laquita T. Hodge

I don’t why these gay rights groups always have an issue with something that they necessarily don’t agree with. She said for her it’s a choice, she’s not speaking for every gay person out there. If she considers herself gay then she is, who are they to say she needs to label herself bisexual?
Obliviousfrog

It is not a choice. I wasn’t born straight. I’m just giving my opinion. I have nothing against straight people. I have straight people in my family and friends that are straight and I love them dearly.
Obliviousfrog

You will NEVER find a man who chose to be gay.
Love love love Miranda!

She clearly says its HER choice, not the whole gay community. She probably chose to be gay and not bisexual because of all the f*d up straight men she met in her lifetime. And for gays that says it is not a choice, didn’t you choose to accept it and be gay instead of pretending to be straight and miserable that you didn’t accept who you really are, therefore making it a choice. Everything in life is full of choices, you chose to live today, you chose to let this issue affect you, and you can choose to be a good or bad person.
Psychofem1

Sheesh what differnce does it make?!!! We are all individuals and God gave us all free will. Its not anyones business who anyone sleeps with!! And its not for the government to decide who we can and cant marry! Stop shovin views down ppls throats!!! Apparently this world has forgotten that if you want tolerance for your vices lifestyles etc you must have tolerance for others
Anne

My uncle thinks the exact same thing!! He was married with a woman for a long time then he got divorced now he has a male partner. He says that we must love people for their souls not for their bodies!!
Peejay51

I was born gay and did not choose!
Brian Earp

Oxford’s Practical Ethics blog has weighed in on Cynthia Nixon’s remarks here: http://blog.practicalethics.ox.ac.uk/2012/01/can-you-be-gay-by-choice/

Thought you might be interested to read …

Sincerely,
Brian Earp
University of Oxford
Regina1180

It’s kind of funny, groups demand tolerance and acceptance of them but they won’t tolerate or accept an opinion that they don’t necessarily agree with.
Danny

I don’t think it’d necessarily a choice, but maybe when it comes to someone who was straight. I don’t find anything wrong with her comments.
Sara

In my opinion if you are attracted to both male and female but choose to be with on in particular then you really are bisexual
http://twitter.com/kylew1973 Kyle Willard

She is bi-sexual. Yes she has the choice to be “gay” and/or “straight”. She makes the choice when she decides who to be with. For those that are not bi-sexual, there isn’t a choice. She needs to clarify that.
http://twitter.com/Nathiest Nathiest

I wanted to punch her. I still do. Stupid bitch.
Guest

For some people it is a choice. That’s why I never get these people who want to force Tom cruise and John travolta out of the closet. They choose to be with women and should not be criticized for it.
Edel Garstad

WHAT is the big deal? Nixon clarely stated “I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice…” What pisses me off more than anything these days, is when people aren’t allowed to speak for themselves or say what they mean. You’re all acting like she went on a rant about how homosexuality is a choise – she didn’t! She talked about how this spesific situation was for her and made it clear that she understood this wasn’t the scenario for most people out there.
Psychofem1

why is she stupid Nathan? Cuz she doesnt wanna be a peter puffer at this point in her life? careful…..intolerance and ignorance breed intolerance and ignorance. One day you will have a view that others wont necessarily agree with…would you want others calling you ignorant for it? I dont know why ppl have to act holier than thou….dont throw stones when u live in a glass house
Psychofem1

Well i suppose it just depends on your views…..I dont agree with abortion for instance….but i DO NOT go to anti-abortion rallys and call ppl murderers and sluts either. I have no idea why those ppl think it will get them anywhere…..just makes the ppl there feel harder at them and increases their need to stand against it. I accept abortion is legal and move on. I dont even vote against it cause its not my place to dictate how anyone lives their life. I am in no place to judge anyone…thats for God. Same thing with gay rights n such. Im bi-sexual so i know how it feels to be judged for it. Its my life…..let me live mine and ill let you live yours….more ppl should consider this option
Sarah

i dont think its that much of a bigger deal what she said… i personally know people who are gay by choice… so what??? its their lives… when they have an option in todays society then why create such an issue about it… in old times there were no choices whether u were gay or not… only one way of life… now kids hear this in schools and everywhere… so i guess they can choose for themselves… its not like she has taken someone’s right away or anything
Psychofem1

Edel…im glad to see someone paying attention!! And i completly agree with you!! Ive been put in the postion of answering a question based by my life experiences and then got told i couldnt answer it that way. Cause apparently the question really was….how do parents with a NORMAL child react. Omg i was sooooo freakin offended!! My child may be disabled but im STILL A PARENT and if you wanna weed out certain ppl when u ask a question you should say so. And then it occured to me…..why should i care their ignorance will haunt them later
http://twitter.com/xivegotsunshine Anna

I think its stupid that she’s getting so much hate. So what if she choose a homosexual lifestyle? She didn’t say that it was a choice for everyone but for her it was. I think that its hurtful for people to say that she’s lying or confused and that she’s really bisexual. No one can label someone’s sexuality but themselves.
Anonymous

YES IT IS A CHOICE!!! I am another one to testify. I was gay for many years. Gay, not bi. Ok? And Cynthia chose for herself what she believed was the best. I chose differently. Since I could not change myself, I trusted Jesus Christ and He healed me of all my sins. This is actually excellent news! Because every gay person should know that he/she HAS the choice, HAS the power. It was tough, it was very tough. But it is doable! And you are not alone. You cannot do it yourself but Christ does it. That is His promise and He keeps His word. Always!
If anyone reading this is struggling with the same issue, you can check ilivestraight.com. It may inspire you.
French Flies

I think it is disturbing that she is not permitted the freedom of her own truth. The gay rights lobbyists are victimizing her because she won’t be their mouthpiece.

People who have no preference of gender, who care only about the chemistry with the individual, do CHOOSE. It’s okay.
Chris R

Being gay is not a sin.

Being gay or bi CAN be a choice for some.

Being gay or bi IS not a choice for others.

We as human beings are too complex to pigeon hole.
Simon

Those Gay people that are going nuts over Cynthia Nixon are doing great harm to the concept of sexuality, and they are hurting their own cause more than they think.

The “Gay by design” propagandists also stick to that reasoning as a way of allaying criticism of their lifestyle.It is the “Don’t blame me I cannot help it” defence, and it just does not cover the next development in human sexuality, those that CHOOSE to be gay.
Jay

It’s probably because, if for her being gay is a choice, then that is probably because she is bisexual – she was in a long term relationship with a man and had kids with him and now she’s in a relationship with a woman…if being gay was a “choice” then that must mean that she felt she personally could be with a man and that she had that option, which makes her bisexual.

If a person is gay, they don’t choose to be attracted to people of the same sex, they just are and they’re generally not attracted to people of the opposite sex so being gay is the only option for them…if there is only one option, then it can’t be a choice, it’s only a choice if there are multiple options.
Jay

You don’t get it. Gay/straight/bi/lesbian is about which sex people are attracted to – and you CAN’T choose who you find attractive. You see a person and you’re either attracted to them or you’re not. You don’t get to choose that.

She is choosing to be in a relationship with a woman, but that isn’t about her sexuality – just like if a straight person gets into a relationship, they’re not making a decision to be straight, they’re just making a choice to be in that relationship.

Sexuality is about who we’re attracted to and being in a relationship with a woman doesn’t mean she’s not also attracted to men too and if she is also attracted to men, that makes her bisexual. Choosing to spend her life with a woman doesn’t change make her gay unless she is genuinely not attracted to men too (if a straight person is in a relationship, it does not mean they’re blind to the rest of the world, they can still be attracted to other people – so Miranda could still be attracted to men aswell even if she’s with a woman).

If being gay is a choice for her, then that means she feels that she has another option to choose – that she could be with a man, which makes her bisexual. If someone is really gay, then they only have one option so it isn’t a choice.

“And for gays that says it is not a choice, didn’t you choose to accept it and be gay instead of pretending to be straight and miserable that you didn’t accept who you really are, therefore making it a choice.”

Keyword there: PRETENDING.

Pretending to be straight =/= straight. If someone is gay then they’re gay, if they’re bisexual then they’re bisexual, if they’re straight then they’re straight and even if they fake being something else, it doesn’t change who they really are, they’re just choosing to live a lie.

I’m British…I could fake an American accent and tell people I’m American but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m British. I’d be making the choice to pretend to be American, but it doesn’t mean I would be American.
Jay

People like you are exactly the reason that groups like this don’t like it when people say being gay is a choice. If people think it’s a choice then anti-gay people start going on about how if it’s a choice, then they should force themselves to change.

If someone is gay, then they’re gay – and they can choose to “live straight” but it doesn’t change who they are. Even if a gay person makes the choise to be with someone of the opposite sex instead, it doesn’t mean they’re not still attracted to people of the same sex, it just means they feel they need to hide that from the rest of the world.
Jay

“People who have no preference of gender, who care only about the chemistry with the individual, do CHOOSE. It’s okay. ” – Then that makes someone pansexual or bisexual. Sexuality is about who we’re attracted to, it is not dictated by the sex/gender of the person we’re with at that particular time.

That’s like saying, for example, if a woman is bisexual then they’re straight when they have a boyfriend but gay when they have a girlfriend. But that’s not true, because they’re always attracted to both sexes; regardless of the sex of their current partner, they’re always bisexual.

They’re not “victimizing” her, they’re just mad because comments like hers add fuel to the fire for all the anti-gay people who think that being gay is a choice and that gay people are choosing wrong. If she feels that she has another option, that she could just as easily be with a man instead of a woman, then she’s not gay, she’s bi/pansexual. Being gay is like – a multiple choice question with only one possible answer and with only one answer, it’s not really a choice then, is it?
Noahsant

I am 100% straight, and always have been with no doubt. But reading your comment made me feel more sorry for you than anyone else. You sound like a very confused, tortured soul who isn’t comfortable in his own skin. You’re trying to convince others of something that you yourself are, in reality, not even convinced of. I hope someday you find peace and acceptance with yourself and then hopefully you can move on to others.
Orlandotj

Apparently she has been attracted to both d-ck and tw-t, both, all her life and has always kept her eyes open for either a man or woman. She has probably wanted to have sex with every person she has ever met. So her choice is in the person, either male or female, that she falls in love with at the time.

It is NOT her choice that she enjoys to dive down into both d-ck and tw-t. Perhaps she should get a man and a women both together at the same time for sex.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=658361960 Elle O’Elle

exactly. She would have had to have been bi-sexual in the first place to even go “gay”.
Prominx

Seriously… get over yourself. She is gay. She chose. Sure it undercuts the party-line of gay-from-birth, but that just proves that those who actually have a gay agenda (and I’m not referring to some over-arching agenda shared by all gay people, but rather those who have specific goals to force their minority opinions of homosexuality on everyone else) are out of touch with the actual population.

I just love how a common defense from avidly homosexual parties is that almost all animals have been observed performing some sort of homosexuality, so it is obviously natural… but they leave out that those same gay sex actors in the animal kingdom often also enjoy heterosexual sexual activity… clearly demonstrating that for that animal it was a choice and the product of available options. So… we’re like the animals in that gay sex is common and should be accepted (I have no problem with that), but we’re completely unlike the animals in that for humans homosexuality is NEVER a choice (wave that hypocrite flag high and proud). Get over yourself. It is a choice for every animal, so just start making people accept the choice. Don’t lie to try and force some backdoor scientifically false proposition. There is no gay gene. It was a choice, so defend your choice and fight so that people in the future don’t have to defend their choice. Just stop lying.
Jay

First of all – tell me, when you’re attracted to someone, do you look at them and DECIDE to be attracted to them? Or are you just simply attracted to them? If you try and say that it’s a conscious decision that you make then you are talking out of your ass – we do not choose who we are attracted to. And that goes for the sex of the people we’re attracted to as well.

She didn’t wake up one day and say, “Hey, I don’t think I’ll be attracted to any men from now on, I think I’ll choose to be sexually attracted to women instead.” – it’s not like picking a freaking breakfast serial where you can decide to just switch to another brand.

Yeah, she did choose something. She chose to end her marriage to a man and to be in a relationship with a woman – but that wasn’t choosing to be gay, being gay is something you either are or you aren’t, it’s not a lifestyle choice.

If she was genuinely gay, as opposed to bi/pansexual, then she would just be attracted to women. If you only have one choice then it’s not a choice at all. That’s like saying I chose to be British or chose to be white or chose to be a girl when really, those are just things that I am.

Maybe she’s has always been gay and by saying she chose it, she just meant that she chose to be true to herself and live her life that way instead of pretending to be straight to fit in with what is more socially acceptable – but again, even that isn’t choosing to be gay, it’s just choosing to come out of the closet.

As for all that bullshit you were prattling on about animals – um, please point out the part of my comment where I said anything even remotely like that? And I didn’t say that there was a “gay gene” either (although, unless you are a scientist who has studied the subject, you aren’t really qualified to say that there isn’t).

Oh, and:

“It was a choice, so defend your choice and fight so that people in the future don’t have to defend their choice. Just stop lying.”

I’m not gay. Just for the record. And I’m not lying. Also, I find it highly amusing that you are accusing the majority of people of lying – most gay or bi or pansexual people you ask will tell you that it wasn’t a choice, Miranda is in the minority (anti-gay people, homophobes and religious nuts don’t count)…and yet you say she’s the one who must be telling the truth. Seems more like you’re the one with an agenda.
Guest1

Maybe not, but there is the whole down low thing that goes on.
Guest1

I think you are correct. It’s the same thing as straight people who have married for all reasons other than love/like – money, companionship, children, business. Some couples are actually NOT attracted to eachother, but may have sex with eachother.
Guest1

i worked with some lesbians & there were like a bunch of sharks when a straight woman was having marital problems. Any lesbians care to elaborate on that behaviour of lesbian women? I found it humorous how lesbians say they can’t be change, yet try to “change” a straight person. Ah, the discriminated segment always becomes the discriminator later.

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Cynthia Nixon Says She’s Gay by “Choice,” Sparks Controversy

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