CLAIM: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Have “Secret Wedding”
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie recently staged a “secret wedding,” claims In Touch, the same magazine that’s long insisted the couple’s relationship is going down the tubes. How to explain the tabloid’s abrupt reversal? Well, it’s downright easy when little things like facts and reality aren’t allowed to mess up a good bait-and-switch cover story!
According to In Touch, Brangelina “whisked their six children off to a tropical paradise,” a resort in the Seychelles Islands,where they “exchanged vows” on November 23. Wow, that’s incredible! Ah, but lost in the cover’s breathless announcement about the couple’s alleged decision to “tie the knot” and their “intimate beach ceremony” is a tiny detail. The wedding was all imaginary.
“It was a very private, pretend wedding mainly for the kids,” an In Touch “insider” reports. Supposedly, Pitt and Jolie treated their children to faux nuptials, thereby honoring the kids’ wishes to see them marry. The so-called “fairy-tale wedding” was an elaborate trick. “The kids now think Mommy and Daddy are married,” explains the tabloid’s “insider.”
This was “pretend,” all right. Except the “trick” wasn’t played on Pitt and Jolie’s kids. It was played on In Touch‘s readers. Anyone scanning the cover would assume Brangelina shocked the world with a tropical wedding after years of saying they wouldn’t officially marry.
What actually happened, though, was a family vacation. There was no ceremony. There was no “rehearsal for the real wedding,” which the “insider” guesses “will take place very soon, probably in Hungary.” There were no rings, no vows, and no nuptials, period.
Jolie and Pitt and their children just happen to be happy, which messes up everything In Touch has written about them weeks after week. So, the magazine decided to do what it does best: Slap another fairy tale on the cover.