Tabloid Says Angelina Jolie is Worried Brad Pitt Got Too Hot
8:04 am, September 4th, 2010
(GettyImages.com)
In Touch may have topped itself this week.
The magazine’s predictable efforts to fabricate discord between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have become so stale, the tab is forced to play more and more laughable angles in an attempt to convince readers that the perfectly happy couple they see is only a mirage.
This week’s argument?
Angelina Jolie is plain.
Well, not exactly, but In Touch‘s premise seems to be that she’s no longer attractive enough for Pitt.
After sporting a gray goatee for much of the past year, a “fitter and younger-looking Brad touched down in New Orleans to mark the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina,” observes the tabloid.
Claims a mag insider, “This is how Brad used to look, and he really likes feeling hot again.”
The problem is that his rejuvenated appearance “is in stark contrast to his increasingly gaunt-looking partner,” Jolie, whom the “insider” says has been “looking like a walking stick figure.”
Yes, Angelina Jolie, who dropped jaws this summer as a ridiculously fit, gorgeous spy in Salt, and who “regularly tops ‘most beautiful’ lists the world over” (In Touch‘s own words!) is supposedly too unattractive to stand next to Pitt.
“Brad is back in the spotlight and it’s no longer the Angelina show 24-7,” explains the tab’s insider, who claims, “She will have to keep an eye out for all those young girls on the set of [Pitt's movie] Moneyball.”
First of all, Jolie and Pitt are not competing against each other in a pageant. They started their relationship as two of the world’s most attractive people, and whether or not Pitt has a beard, they still are.
To suggest that Pitt looking a bit younger means Jolie is now “desperate to keep” him implies that he was undesirable until late August. Beauty may be subjective, but that’s pure nonsense.
We also like how In Touch uses Jolie’s trip to be with Pitt in New Orleans against her. “Angelina knows that it would be a terrible mistake if she were to lose Brad, so she has decided to make a real effort to be with him,” says the tab’s insider.
In other words, their being together somehow means she’s insecure and frantic. Of course, if she hadn’t gone to New Orleans, In Touch would be arguing that they had fought bitterly.
Whether Jolie spends time with Pitt or without him, the magazine is going to use it as evidence of a fragile relationship. They just can’t win.
Beautiful.
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